need to vent and confused
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| Thu, 04-20-2006 - 9:55pm |
I dated this guy about a year ago in Feb, and we broke up in July because I have to move away. But he still calls and I was busy with school and one day in Oct he visited me and we got back together because he wanted to. And things were good, I mentioned about weekly calls, and he did always called, sometimes not in a good mood but mostly good. Then Feb comes around, and he didn't give me anything, he thought we weren't doing anything. So..I started weighing the pros and cons ..about dating this guy. Then around March, I made my decision that well, really if he's not that into me, why am I chasing this guy? he is nice, yes, and also my first bf. So, I talked with him and we both decided well maybe someday things will fall into place, but for now we should be friends. I think we were closer than before after we have this talk. He still calls once a week, I hardly call him unless I have to mainly because I've been busy and try not to be attached..Lately our calls been more flirty and it made me wonder.. am I just desperate? I went out on a date with another guy, and it made even more clear why I like him(the old guy) more. It could also be just another bad date..
And now I know I really don't want to be attached to him or anyone for that matter, and it's not me at all.. I've never been a dating girl, you can count how many times I've been asked on a date.. and I wonder if I don't go out with people is because I'm still hung up on him and scared to get out there. I mean I am in no rush by any means to get married but date would be nice you know..
That's my vent, and any comforting notes would be appreciated :)

Keep talking to him. Don't push, he's your friend right. If things fall into place then they will. DOn't worry so much about it though.
Good luck.
Firstly, words of discomfort. Your first boyfriend is not into you and never will be. Men NEVER, and I mean *NEVER* suggest being just "friends" with women they are into. They only say this to women who are into them. These men will then play havoc with your emotions by being flirty, but all they really want is sex with no strings attached.
Now, my words of comfort...I hope.
1) You are NOT desperate. You are a perfectly normal human being seeking emotional and physical fulfilment with someone else.
2) You say:- "you can count how many times I've been asked on a date.. and I wonder if I don't go out with people is because I'm still hung up on him and scared to get out there. I mean I am in no rush by any means to get married but date would be nice you know"
Almost everyone thinks this way when they start feeling the pangs of loneliness. You want to be back in your comfort zone with someone you know. This feeling will eventually pass and personally I think travelling is a great way to escape from them. But it’s good to be involved in any activity where the main focus isn’t on meeting someone special. It is a big world out there and it is worth seeing.
Thank you for your note..and now finals are coming, I suppose I should buckle down and get to it. Too many things too little time. Good luck with your new girl:)