Never a Second Date?? What's Wrong??
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| Mon, 03-26-2007 - 8:46am |
Hey everyone,
I'm just writing because I've just gotten back into the "dating world" over the past couple of months, and I'm finding that I'm getting very discouraged. It seems like I'm going on a lot of first dates, sometimes you can tell right off the bat that it didn’t go well, but sometimes it really seems like it did and we both had a great time, the guy will even suggest to hang out again, etc etc but I've yet to have a second date with any of these people! I almost feel like I'm doing something wrong here! Lol… Am I the only one going through this?? Is it just that when the "right guy" comes along It'll just click and work itself out on its own?? I don’t know, but I'm getting upset over it and I feel like its my fault or something.

It's not your fault. You just haven't found the right match yet. I've had many online dates just as the ones you described and never heard from the guy again. I know this is going to sound cliche, but it really is about them and not you.
I think some people want to look because they feel like that's what they should be doing. Yet, they are not sure what it is that they want.
It's like when I do my grocery shopping while I'm very hungry, if I can't decide on a couple of items, I come home with everything! Sometimes I cannot decide on anything at all because there are so many choices that I become overwhelmed and extremely indecisive.
Being a guy that has never, ever been on a second date with someone I was interested in, I know exactly what you mean.
One girl I was interested in flat out told me a few days later over the phone that she did not feel any chemistry between us after the first time meeting. The others I was either not interested in myself, or they never returned my calls.
I have not even been on a date in 3 years. I have just get rejected by virtually everyone I try to put myself out there to. So I know exactly how you feel.
as hard as it is, you have to remember that it's not your fault. It is very depressing to be rejected, but not your fault at all.
I'd like to tell you what everyone tells me, which is to "hang in there", but between the way I have been accepted by my family members, (or should I say NOT accepted,) and watching all of my friends and relatives finding happy relationships and getting married, I honestly don't know how much longer I can "Hang in there."
But just remember, YOU are not the one at fault if someone is not interested in persuing things.
Hope this helps.
Fluff talk! The reason why there are never second dates is because most people are serial daters! Most people do not want to settle down. I did match.com for a while and let me tell you, those guys are on there to see how many girls they can go out/sleep with. They say they want to be in a relationship and to have children some day, but nooooo.
Seriously, the best thing to do is not to expect a second date ever until you do meet the right guy and that guy is going to want to be in a relationship and not just want a romp in the hay!