New book "Good in a Crisis"

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
New book "Good in a Crisis"
8
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 5:39pm

I just finished reading this memoir by Margaret Overton. She's in her 50s, was divorced after many years of marriage and began dating (including online). In addition, she suffered a brain aneurysm. I thought it was a good read, and many older women on this board may find it validating.

I found her comments at the end interesting:

I stopped "dating" after Henry....I gave up the Internet, though friends still tell me it's the only way for a woman my age to meet a man. I find that incredibly depressing. Occationally I convince myself they're right; I sign up, pay for three months, quit after a day or two...I've begun to allow myself friendships instead, and consequently I feel more positive than I have in years about life and about men. Even so, I think it takes at least six months to know someone well enough to begin to let hope triumph over experience, to take the tiniest leap of faith...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 03-16-2012 - 1:20pm

I know right but everytime I went to a singles dance its so dark and you cant see anyone that well (lol) and you

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 03-16-2012 - 1:07pm

A large room w/ tons of men & women"--sounds like a bar or a singles dance.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Fri, 03-16-2012 - 5:23am

She really didn't elaborate on how she met these men or the exact nature of the friendships--this is really just part of the epilogue. She is an anesthesiologist working in Chicago. What I got from this passage is that she just stopped trying to meet men, plus stopped getting involved in inappropriate, desperate demi-relationships.

She didn't go into this in the book, but she went back to school to study writing. It could be that following this passion is what led to these friendships. I am striving for this myself: become involved in some consuming passion(s) that leads me into a whole other area of my life--and not just to meet men, but to broaden my whole life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 10:53pm

oh; and then add on have to have chemistry with someone even if you do meet them.. So first have to find someone and then hope there is chemistry.. Its like finding a needle in a haystack..

I am thinking we would need a large room four times a week with tons of men and women in there and start talking to them and hope we click with one..

I notice they have this new speed dating where people meet in a restaurant.. but only there are way more people than the average speed dating.. which is like 20 .. I mean what are the odds you can match up with a person if there are only 20 people there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 10:38pm

OH I so agree w/ you on that one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 6:47pm

oh; but she still has to meet them somewhere whether its OLD or meet up groups or singles stuff or a set up.. I mean she has to be meeting them somewhere??

I have changed

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 6:27pm

I think that is part of what she's saying, but I think more than anything, she is just being herself and not forcing herself to "date". She's just allowing friendships to form with men that could perhaps turn into more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 6:11pm

Thank you for that Florida..

You know although I would love to have a man in my life most of the time and some days its worse than others what I have now is probably more than most people.. I complain but I do have family and friends and I do have some male friends who graciously hang out with me now and then.. Then I have my outings where I just go alone and always run into people and socialize..

There always seems to be something one can do or something going on to distract me.. I was in the grocery store yesterday and I