New to City...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2014
New to City...
Sun, 06-29-2014 - 7:56pm

Hi Everyone,

I just moved to New York hoping that I would find ultimate happiness having living in London, England for 14 years. I am only 27 (just turned) and I feel even more lost here than ever before. I have family here (I was born and brought up here until the age of 13, then moved to London). My family have now all grown up and everyone has thier own lives and family responsibilities but I feel so left out. Most of my cousins have children with deadbeat guys but is it wrong for me to still feel sad that I'm lonely.

One of my cousins parties all the time but I'm more of a chilled out person. Would it be strange for me to just go to a bar/club alone? I am currently unemployed, actively searching really hard for employment, but nothig is coming up Cry.

Can anyone give me some advise to how to meet new people?!? I'm lonely i the city that never sleeps......not a good look I know!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: keyz87
Sun, 06-29-2014 - 10:13pm

I think that being alone in such a huge city like NYC would make you even more lonely.  Did you go there with no plan at all?  Probably not a good idea.  I would say your first task is to find some kind of job--once you have a job at least there will be people that you talk to every day and possibly you can make some friends at work.  I don't feel that a young woman going to a bar alone in a big city is the best idea--there are a lot of other ways to meet people.  What are your interests? If you are athletic, join a gym or a sports league.  If you like the arts, take dance lessons, try to volunteer for an arts organization or something like that--I think volunteering in general is a pretty good idea if it's something you are genuinely interested in.  If you like kids, you could probably get a babysitting job.  I'm sure other people will come up with more ideas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
In reply to: keyz87
Mon, 06-30-2014 - 8:35am

It usually takes a few years to adjust to living in a new place, so don't pressure yourself to live up to unrealistic goals. I don't live in the state where i spent my teen years, and so my friendships have formed exclusively in the workplace. My social life also includes being in a writer's critique group. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives, so don't try to fit a square peg in a round hole. Eventually you'll form friendships that will fill that void, but until then, getting an income coming in should take priority. See if there are any free employment aid agencies out there to help you. If you're not good at composing a resume, maybe a relative with those skills can help you out. 

As far as your social life is concerned, try on the internet. More men join groups that involve physical activities like bicycling, hiking, bowling, boating, etc. Put in your geographic code and see which activity groups meet in your area. Join an English ex-patriates group. If you like to read, join a book discussion club. Volunteering is a good way to meet new people, as well as networking. You never know who knows who, and you may get a job out of it. Have fun and good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
Fri, 07-04-2014 - 9:27pm

Hi everyone,

I think you have been give some really good suggestions, I cannot imagine what you must be going through living in Nyc. I think looking for some good social groups is an excellent wahy to start.

Good luck