New to the dating scene
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New to the dating scene
| Tue, 01-24-2006 - 11:04am |
Ok sO Im relatively new to the dating scene and was just wondering what types of quesions you normally ask on the first date or two. It seems like when I go out on a date we just make random small talk. Just curious what you all do to get to know someone in the beginning.

Talking about current events can make for easy conversation as well. That doesn't mean you have to talk politics or world affairs, but maybe who you'd like to win the SuperBowl.
I also fall back on travel talk - where I've been and where I'd like to go, and then I ask him the same. (I do that because I love to travel. If the guy doesn't respond to this line of conversation, he's not likely to be a good fit for me).
I tend to try out a topic and see if the guy runs with it. Ideally, one topic will lead to others and it will just flow naturally.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Are you married, currently involved or live with anyone?
Do you currently have any sexual partners?
Are you heterosexual or bisexual?
Are you drug and disease free?
**I also fall back on travel talk - where I've been and where I'd like to go, and then I ask him the same. (I do that because I love to travel. If the guy doesn't respond to this line of conversation, he's not likely to be a good fit for me). **
I agree. Travel is a huge "hobby topic" for me. If someone doesn't at least enjoy it and try to plan it, then we probably don't have enough in common.
As far as the other poster goes, I don't think sexual partners, etc. is first date conversation.
On the first date, I like the conversation to just go where it will. It's really important to me that I get a good read for how compatible I am with a person without getting into the serious stuff right away. Someone may have the same life goals as me or similar experiences but, if we can't just converse about everything and nothing naturally, it won't work out no matter how good we look on paper.
If I am comfortable with someone and conversation seems to flow, the kinds of things that I want answers to will arise naturally in the course of conversation. If they don't, then I don't push it because I just don't have much faith that we will be compatible.
However, that doesn't help on a date that you are already on and striving for conversation topics. You got some good suggestions here. I like to ask what a man is reading at the moment because that can say a lot about him. Asking about his family will give you some insight into how his relationships with his relatives are and it has the added bonus of showing that you are interested in learning about him.
I stay away from politics and religion right away. If someone asks me about religion because it is important to them, I am not put off and happy to share because it is not important to me. I do not, however, like when someone asks about my political leanings right away. Mostly because I am right-leaning in a left-leaning town. Besides, though it is important to me, it's not a deal breaker and I think it's gauche to talk about right away.
I agree with Jules and Lesley that some topics are not good for first dates, but meant for later (after you are getting to know the guy better).
My personal list of topics to avoid on a first date:
- Politics
- Religion
- Sex
- Past relationships
- Heavy family or personal issues
- Anything too personal
First dates should be fairly light-hearted and fun, without diving into anything too deep. If you are compatible, that deep stuff will come later.
AJ, enjoying life with C.