Newbie to the board...need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Newbie to the board...need advice
2
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 4:15pm

HI

I am new to the board. I am 25 and single(of course). I recently graduated from graduate school and I am working now and I really want to social more. I have spent the last two and a half years with my head in books that now I want to get out and be young. I am having a hard time meeting guys that I have interest in. In my graduate program, there was nothing but women so there was no chance of meeting a guy there. At my job there are no prospects. I have since joined a gym and there a lot of cute guys there but I havent been approached by anyone. I feel that since I am not one of those hard bodies most of the dudes arent really interested. I hope to one day be one of those hard bodies so I use there disinterest as fuel to work out even harder.

I want to go out and meet people but there are few places that I feel like going alone. Most of my friends are either married and have given up their going out pass to be with their husbands. I have one friend who is still single but she works all the time. I am tried of the online thing. I never really meet anyone that i am attracted to and that is " my age" and I dont want to settle. I am an attractive woman and I just dont understand why its not happening for me. I am African-American female and had a long-term fling/relationship with a jewish guy I met in college. I want to break away from this situation and be with someone who isnt afraid to be with me. But its just so damn hard. I feel like I am never going to find anyone. Its like everything in my life is going great besides this one area. I just dont understand what I am doing wrong!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 6:56pm

I am running out the door, so don't have enough time to respond fully, but I thought I'd share a few places I have met men recently. Not all of these have produced dates, but at least nice conversations, shared glances, etc.

-- The large park in town. I walk my dog there when it's nice out, and there are men galore. (Having a dog helps break down the conversation barrier).

-- The local bookstore. I just hang out and flip through books for awhile.

-- The coffee shop. See above. (I go in the morning before work - best time to meet employed men).

-- Church. I go to a really young, non-traditional church. Very low key and cool people.

-- The dog park. See number one above.

-- The natural grocery store. For some reason, attracts more younger men than the regular market.

I'll write more later. :) The bottom line is they are out there. I was frustrated with the online dating thing as well, and have been pleasantly surprised at how many men I actually can meet in real life. Again, I'm not swarmed with people asking for dates, but it's nice to know there are possibilities.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 7:09pm
Try giving your business cards out. I have only done this a handful of times, totally on the fly, but I've gotten some calls as a result. Do you make yourself approachable? I literally have to remind myself to smile when I'm in public. I know this is going to sound weird, but my normal non expression face looks a little like a scowl. Sometimes when I'm in deep thought, people come up and ask, "Are you okay?". One more thing, you mentioned that there are only a few places which you feel comfortable going alone. Why not try stepping out of your comfort zone? Hope the advice helps a little ; )