Is nice enough?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2006
Is nice enough?
6
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:17pm

I need advice. I'm a long time reader of this wonderful board and first time poster. Maybe I'm getting older and now that my son is starting grade 7 and I'm still single I'm starting to be a bit less picky but here goes:

There's a man at work I find impossible to read even though I think I'm excellent with people. (He's in another department so it's not like there'd be any conflict.) He's a bit of a Dr Data from Star Trek. I think he's a bit isolated because he doesn't understand how intimidating it can be to talk to someone who can speak about most subjects, without notes, for 20 minutes. He's a real reader. He's got NO small talk. I don't want to give the impression he's like the Dr on House MD, quite the opposite.

The thing is, he always wears exactly the same clothes ALL THE TIME. Not a business suit, but grey slacks with a blue dress shirt and dark shoes. That's right, five days a week, without variation. Apparently he has two weeks worth of exactly the same stuff and replaces them a few times a year. He says he's lazy and it's more efficient to do the laundry this way. He doesn't own a television and refuses to use a cell because he's not convinced cell phones are proven safe. He seems nice but, well, let's be honest, someone who wears the same clothes 365 days a year except when he's running may be not entirely, you know, sane, like the Monk detective show.

My son and I are comfortable with school, boy scouts, basketball and work, so if I'm going to make the effort (particularly with someone at work), I need to be sure and if I were getting mixed signals, I could understand, but I think I'm getting static like trying to listen to FM with an AM radio. My career is going well and I've returned to school to improve my credentials, and I certainly won't put that on hold. (I definitely want to show my son that he's going to college!).

Forty's in two years and I don't want to waste my time.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:24pm

Sorry if I missed it but what exactly is your question? Are you asking if you should pursue him? Or has he asked you out and you don't know if you should say yes, or what?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:27pm
Based on your post, you didnt say anything positive about the guy. Do you like him and find anything positive about him or are you just critical? If critical, then I wouldnt waste my time if I were you. The positive attributes a person possesses should always outweigh any negatives you can find.

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2006
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:47pm
You're right, I didn't aska question. I guess my question is someone like this worth pursing As I said, he has many admirable characteristics, but there are some definite oddities in the mix. I can't read him well enough to figure out his feelings.


Edited 9/23/2006 6:05 pm ET by elizabeth_montreal
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 6:03pm

He sounds like someone who is very set in his ways.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 7:09pm

Well, unless he's asking you out, isn't it kind of a moot point?

Or did he ask you out?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 4:21pm
He won't change his ways. You can't change him either. It is hard for people to change. If these things bug you, they always will. Be friends, but no, "nice" is not good enough. Don't settle.