Nine days to go...

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Nine days to go...
8
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 10:09am

...and my match.com account will end. I wish I could say I met someone special, but I haven't. I won't miss the grizzled old men in their wife-beater undershirts emailing me with "You're hot!" (or, usually more like "your hot").

I think that there's an awful lot of luck involved in meeting someone via OLD, and the real world as well. You could have the best profile in the world, you could diligently contact men, play the game, etc. but "your guy" may not be online at that time. 

I also think that OLD attracts a larger percentage of socially awkward men. I think it's easier for them to approach women this way. I don't know if the same is true of women.

I think OLD makes it really easy to lie. If you're 5'6" it's hard to fake being 5'11" meeting in person. Online you can be anyone, and I'm not just talking about scammers (but I never got a scammer to my knowledge). And I know people tend to describe themselves as they want to be, not necessarily who they are. For instance, a man might say, "I love to ski," and then when you talk to him, the last time he went skiing was 10 years ago. Or, "I'm athletic and toned," when in reality, he hasn't lifted a weight or jogged in 20 years. 

Who knows if I'll ever go back--probably at some point. But I had grown bored with it, plus interesting men were not contacting me (I don't think they're on the site right now), and the interesting men I contacted never wrote back.

I'll just spend my $20/month some other way.   :)

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 11:16am
I'm kind of ornery. I think I'd respond with "my hot what?" I have a couple of friends who have just joined for the first time in the past few months. They want me to join, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's tempting because I like attention from men, but I know that last time, I didn't get much attention so it was disappointing. Why should I pay online when I can go out and get hit on far more with the same result? They're probably the same guys anyway!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 3:04pm

I have really had no desire to go on a paid site in quite a while.  I'm still on a free one and look around every so often.  I have a friend who's about 45, very photogenic, so her pics always look very cute (and she is in person too) and her profile is very good at describing herself plus being funny.  She got one date with a guy she only liked as a friend--when she told him that she would still like to be friends, he didn't answer.  She has one guy contacting her now who is already sending her lovey messages & they haven't even met.  So I figure if she can't meet someone good and she's younger and more attractive, it's no wonder I didn't meet anyone.  I have another friend who's older (57) but she's very cute & attracts a lot of men every time we go out, but also hasn't been able to find anyone on OLD.

I wonder if there are guys on there who are just too shy to ever follow through w/ asking women out.  There's a guy I know IRL who is on line every time I go on--say I go on once a week or less--it could be a coincidence that he just happens to go on the exact same days, but I'd be thinking he's probably on there every day.  I know him from dance class--I've never known him to ask out anyone from the dance school and there are plenty of single women, some of whom have expressed an interest in him.  But he's shy & kind of awkward when it comes to women.  I'd bet there are a lot of guys like him.

Or the ones who are old, fat and unemployed but are holding out for the young supermodel to go out with them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 7:26pm

20.00 a month?? I have never heard of a site being so cheap..

Anyhoo.. I just stay on the free ones like POF and OK cupid because hey you never know.. I have gotten dates from POF and OK cupid but not since Last March.. The last guy I had a date with last March was on both sites so I see the same people on the paid sites and on the free sites.. Now i was on a local site for free but now you have to pay so I wont bother... Hey you just never know Iwho could be stopping by and since its free who cares...

sometimes I look around on the sites but not much anymore.... It seems the same guys are there from years ago and I just run out of patience looking around for myself..

I also think when one gets into their fifties it is one of the ways to meet people.. I have met two guys and now we are friends so its not always a romantic hook up...The one friend who lives in Staten Island comes to visit me like three times a year and that is fine.. We hang out and go to dinner and go to the beach.. We also talk on facebook and all... Well I think he just got another romantic partner but I dont care so I probably wont be seeing him or talking to him much anymore. This other guy I am friends with lives in Conn. and we talk on phone every few weeks and catch up on stuff.. I think we never know who we can meet romantically or just stay friends with.. I like to keep my options open and they become smaller and smaller with age so we need all the help we can get.. (LOL)

So whatever works for one might not work for others...and visa versa....

Oh; and my good friend Nick who passed away last March I met him at a singles picnic but I then saw him also on POF so I wrote to him years ago and we became really good friends... So you never know how it will all turn out.. I know the Universe is supplying these men for me somehow and I dont want to get in the way of that so I will stay on the free ones..

 

 

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 09-03-2013 - 12:44am

  It is also the stage of life one is in.  When one is in a different stage communication is hard.  a guy who is retired may be looking for adventure or not.  Perhaps he is not looking to go hiking,skiing,snorkeling.  Too many women and men try to be someone they are not.  I know myself and I hate the outdoors.( I lived it from 10-17)  It sucks.   If they are not into your passions, then they are wrong for you but right for someone else. 

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 09-03-2013 - 11:28am

I think you hit on the point that Floridagirl was trying to make when you said that people try to be something they aren't.  If the retired guy isn't outdoorsy and would rather stay home & watch movies on TV, then why tell women that he's out there skiing & athletic?  Not all women want that either.  I would be wary about writing to someone who says he loves skiing & hiking cause I don't want to do that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 6:06pm

Match.com sucks! It's a waste of money. I joined it twice in the past and never had any luck. I think the commercials hype it up way more than it really is. Save your money and either meet people in person or join a free site... I met a wonderful guy on a free site. Then again... It is the luck of the draw because the free sites also attract a ton of freaks and wierdos lol. Much luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 8:21am
I am on two OLD sites, neither of them has give me much joy so far. The one I am paying for, not many bucks a month now (it gets less and less each month), gives me even less attention than the other one. And I have been there for years! The other one is free, or I refuse to pay! It means I cannot contact everyone, or answer everyone, just because I am not "VIP". A bit more attention there, but not much. I have said it before and here I go again: OLD is not my thing. It does definitely not appeal to me, sometimes I am utterly appalled by being there. So, it means I am not there more than once a week at most. Which probably explains the lack of attention. ;-) I just cannot bring myself to be there. If there was speed-dating or meet-ups in this city, I would much rather try that! But, alas...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 8:40am
Excellent, my post never showed... OK, giving it another go. I am in two OLD sites, the one I have been in for years costs me almost nothing now - the price is reduced each month. So that is fair enough, but it gives me very little joy. The one I am refusing to pay for is slightly better attention-wise, but I cannot write to or answer everyone as I am not "VIP". OLD is not my thing, I know I have said it before. Which is why I am not there so often, and of course also because the attention is lacking... But seriously, OLD is freaking me out. Sometimes it almost disgusts me to be there, I find it utterly appalling. However, I know it can work well - several of my g-friends are married now with guys they met there. I would really prefer the old-fashioned way of meeting men - in real life from first moment!