No kiss on the first date, is that okay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
No kiss on the first date, is that okay?
2
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 7:34pm

Hello-

Last night on my "first date" with "Josh", (the reason why I say "first date" is because we dated in high school a long time ago.) I haven't seen him in awhile, so it counts as a first date. We went out to eat and see a movie. The beginning of the date went really well, but later on those awkward silences started to bug me. I was feeling uncomfortable and so was he I am sure. We ended up holding hands in the movie. Anyways, at the end of the night, he walked me to my front door and gave me a hug and said, "call me if ya wanna hang out", I was like, "no you call me." I'm thinking he may believe I am not that interested in him. Haven't heard from him yet, but I thought it was weird that we never kissed the whole night. It is really bugging me. I am not a prude seeing that we have done almost everything besides sex in the past, but last night was different. At moments I could feel the sexual tension rising, but he never got the courage to make a move. Trust me, I really wanted to go for the kill and just kiss him, but I thought that would make it too easy for him. So now I wanna know how you would feel if this happened to you. IF you were in "Josh's position what would you think? Thank you so much for your suggestions!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2005
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 12:09pm

first of all you didnt say how long ago you "dated your crush" in high school. Plus, he was bashful along with you. I would just plum come out and ask him a few Dr. phillish type questions to see just what he is after. does he jsut want to hang and not re kindle something you had in high school? does he not wnat to offend you in making the srogn moves too soon?

Plus is he hiding a closet sexual gratification of being Gay because he just held yoru hand and nothing else happened?
honey i could list a library of questions here for you to ponder and ask him next time.

What you really need to focus on is two things?
is this a relationship what you want to persue?
Why did we break up in high school and has he changed since?

my guess is from my own high school lover experience ...no body changes, we just add more baggage to ourselves as time goes on.

I was smitten with a guy I met when I was 12 he was 14. we "dated in high school till he was a Junior. I broke up with him mid-semester of my HS freshman yr.He left the state for an adventure in Alaska with his relatives who live there. He comes back to my doorstep when I am a college freshman and 3 months later we were engaged. WELL, 18 months later I broke up the relationship and engagement because the Leopard never changed his spots and that is why i feel you better watch your step and just listen to your heart.

Sometimes if you are forthcoming in yoru questioning of his motives, he will give you the same respect and between the two of you a compromise and solution can be resolved.

whatever happens i wish you luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 1:16pm
I would not think this was a bad thing at all. I actually prefer when guys don't kiss me on the first date. He prob. was not sure if you wanted to kiss him, so he acted polite. I would say that on all the dates I have been on, only one or two have kissed me on the first date. The morjority had waited til the second or third date. Don't worry....