No prospects, no crushes

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
No prospects, no crushes
6
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 6:45pm
So here I am in my mid 30's now and for the first time in a while, no prospects and no crushes. I like to have atleast a crush on someone because it takes away some stress in ones life. And not to mention some very good eye candy! LOL. I'm even envious of people now who atleast have a crush on someone whereas I used to but don't anymore.
Every where I look, someone is calling me to tell me they're getting married and mind you, they're alot younger than me. Although I try not to get depressed about it, sometimes I do. I know part of it is me because I am somewhat picky. I'll admit if I'm not attracted to someone or don't feel a spark, I don't want to waste the guy's time by leading him on hoping something will develop. I do have my guard up because I've been mislead alot by guys whom I though were into me but they weren't really.
Also to have a married woman tell me that it's all my fault that I'm not married is just depressing too.
My weight is good. I can definitely compete with the 20 year olds and I'm not bad looking either but for the most part, I'm always getting hit on by young guys and I'm sorry, I'm not interested in them. I was also in a long term relationship that was not at all healthy, got out of it for my sanity and still have not met anyone special.
I still hold on to hope that maybe he's out there but I'll admit, my hope is getting grim. I don't want to be alone and internet dating? Please. I've chatted with some of those guys on line and it was the biggest turn off for me.
I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me but I do find it odd now that I'm in my mid 30's and all of a sudden, my lack for a love life has hit me hard. Maybe it's the old clock ticking and what's worst is there's no one who interests me right now. Has anyone gone through this?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 9:12pm

95% of the time, I

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 9:31pm

>>I like to have atleast a crush on someone because it takes away some stress in ones life. And not to mention some very good eye candy!<<

That is an interesting point and one that I have never appreciated.... Anyway, I often have the same doubt that you have. Like I said before, after a few rejections, you start to wonder if there is something wrong with yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:33pm

I would love to not be attracted to women in the way you described how you arent feeling anything for men...

every other girl I pass on the street, see at work, etc etc...I am attracted to and it drives me nuts so be happy for that aspect of how you feel

Also I have never understood why women put so much importance on being married...A lot of it is society's pressure and all that but I have always viewed marriage as something I would do if I meet someone special enough but if I dont meet that special girl then Im not getting married. I have never looked at it as a way to define me or how good of a person I am or anything like that...marriage should be for when you find someone special and it is not for everyone.

Learn to enjoy being by yourself...I enjoy it untill I am reminded of all the great attractive women out there

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 11:00pm

Also I have never understood why women put so much importance on being married...A lot of it is society's pressure and all that but I have always viewed marriage as something I would do if I meet someone special enough but if I dont meet that special girl then Im not getting married. I have never looked at it as a way to define me or how good of a person I am or anything like that...marriage should be for when you find someone special and it is not for everyone.


Umm..it's called children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 5:33am

The children thing didnt come to mind sorry.

But I just feel like if the right person doesnt come along then its no tragedy.
Women seem to think that its the end goal of their life along with children too.

I try to enjoy my life no matter what my circumstance at the time happens to be, it doesnt always work but I think a person should be fine with not being in a relationship and that there is nothing wrong with not being invovled with someone and being on your own, which allows you to do whatever you want and be free without being tied down to someone.

For me I know that sometimes I am thankful for not being married or in a relationship because I have school and work which are enough for me to worry about and be responsible for right now.
There is nothing wrong with someone not being married or committed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 8:03am

Thank you, guys. You all are always so supportive to everyone and I knew you'd understand.
For the most part, I try to deal with the cards I'm dealt. I like to travel and I have a trip to Mexico coming up this summer that I look forward to.
I am trying to live my life and sometimes my single life doesn't bother me until I hear about everyone getting married and being happy. So then I wonder what could be wrong with me? I generally don't think there's anything wrong with me. I'm told I'm attractive and what's most important to me is my personality which to me outweights everything else.
But thank you guys, again. It's tough sometimes but I have no choice but to ride it through and keep hope alive. ;-)