No sex til marriage... wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
No sex til marriage... wrong?
20
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 2:34pm
Ok, i'm 21 and I have had some issueson the dating scene. I gave myself about a year to get over my previous reltaionships after not giving myself ample time before that (i.e had a relationship of 2.5 yrs, four months later dated someone for about 4-6 months, 4 months after that dated someone for another 4 months). Now my self imposed year is up (not without some heartbreak in and of itself) and I'm kinda ready to start dating. The issue is that I don't believe in pre-marital sex and it seems that all guys want is a random hookup with whoever they can get it with/ I'm not like that. I actually like conversations and museums, and getting to know people. Is it so bad to be a so-called 'prude'? I am not exactly the stuff wet dreams are made of, physically, but I like to think I am worth getting to know even if I don't guarantee sex at the end of the night. Any advice?

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 7:16pm

My advice would be to stay away from places where you are more likely to find men who are just looking for a hookup (like bars).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 9:59am
There is NOTHING wrong with your beliefs and I hope you will hold onto them. If you start to sense that a guy is wanting to hook-up, end the date. There is someone out there who values what you value and who likes to do the things that you like to do so don't give up until you find him! Your values are very respectable and noble. Don't give up on them!

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~Gandhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 10:08am

Any man who expects/demands sex on a first date, is not worth it, period. You should ditch him. Or if he ditches you first, be glad.

Some men do expect sex as part of a relationship once they get to know someone better, so you need to find someone who shares your same values. Men who have a serious interest in marriage and kids, may not have a problem with no-sex-till-marriage - they may be far more open to that concept than the non-marriage minded man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 10:01am
I think there's also another board here that you might find helpful.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 1:37pm
If you have a conviction to wait until marriage then I applaud you and support you all the way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2005
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 6:50pm

Stay true to yourself. There are guys out there who are interested in more than just sex. If they can't move beyond the no sex issue and truly find out what a great person you are, they are not worth your time. If you don't believe in pre-marital sex, then that is OK. You might want to checkout another ivillage message board called "Like A Virgin".

And by the way, you are NOT a prude. You are willing to be intimate with others just not to the point of having sex with them. Not having pre-marital sex is YOUR boundary that other people should respect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 2:57am
I totally agree with you because if all th eguys you dated are just intersited in sex then they are not for you. I like the idea of getting to knmow them first and know what their likes and dislikes are. Plus it will be something special and even if Mr. Right is not good at IT that's not what you're marring him for...right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 4:14am

Hi latinspaceangel,

I agree with the others. You should NEVER compromise your values and morals. Unfortunately many young women make the mistake of using sex to keep men interested in them when there is no real substance in the relationship like love or mutual respect. I think you are sensible, not a prude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 9:55am

You're back!?!?!?!!!!

Yay!!!!!!!!!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 11:02am

Look at the date.


I've done that before.

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