north vs south

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
north vs south
9
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 5:44pm

Hello to all you wonderful women.
I have a question. I have been living in the south (of USA) for a few years. It seems that women here are more marriage oriented, and don't date unless they see a prospect of marriage. I have heard that women in the north are more open minded about dating, and marriage is not the only thing on their minds. Is this true? I would apprecaite your responses.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
In reply to: python3000
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 6:27pm
I'm up north and I'm definitely marriage-minded.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: python3000
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 7:42pm

I'm in the Midwest and I don't know one person who isn't dating seriously, engaged, or married.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: python3000
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 8:52pm
I think you'll find people just about anywhere in the U.S. that are "open minded" as you describe. However, contrary to what television and films may tell you, that is not the norm for women in the U.S. I am marriage-minded and so are all of my friends (most of whom are already married).
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: python3000
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 1:39pm

I am in the West, and marriage-minded.

I think the media (shows like Sex & the City) have tried to portray modern women as not wanting or needing marriage. While that is definitely true for some women, I can't think of one woman I know personally who wouldn't eventually like to get married.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
In reply to: python3000
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 2:59pm
I'm from the North and currently reside in the South and am seeking marriage. It's not the only thing on my mind and very open minded about dating without casual sex. Nowadays that may not make me as open-minded as others.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: python3000
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 4:06pm

That seems to be a characteristic of men, southern ones wanting marriage more, northen or more urbanite men seeking marriage less. But I'm only speaking from my experience in living in one of the worst dating areas (Baltimore/DC).

I find that where I am, more and more people are open-minded, delaying marriage and are not getting involved in serious relationships, I don't know how ths came about but nearly everyone I know (and I have a very large group of friends and associates) are all single. Many by choice, others by circumstance. I meet more guys now that do not want a commitment or any sort of exclusivity that I'm starting to think, it's gone out of style.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2005
In reply to: python3000
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 4:54pm

Well I'm a 26 year old life long New Yorker who's lived in Manhattan for the past 5 years. I have some married friends and those of us who are single are certainly marriage minded and searching for "the one". That said, I do believe (though I have no basis of comparison) that things ARE different here.

People here do wait until later in life to settle down and there is still a lot of casual dating and "hooking up" at my age. There are plenty of single 26 year olds and even single 36 year olds in this city. Also, the people in my social circle are very career minded so to some it seems that working 80 hours per week as a lawyer, doctor or banker takes precedence over finding a mate.

Sometimes I find comfort in the fact that I see woman older than I am out in bars or on the streets with no ring on their finger. It takes some of the pressure off. Other times it scares me because I wonder if people in NYC are forsaking love for their career or for fun times. Unfortunately men way moreso than women, are lax about settling down in this city. It's depressing when you meet 30 year olds still acting like 21 year olds or a man working so hard at his job that he can't make time for a relationship.

On a semi-related note, as a NYer, Sex and the City is certainly a bit exagerrated but not too far off. There are lots of Carries, Samanthas, Mirandas and Charolettes roaming the streets of Manhattan.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: python3000
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 9:24am

I tend to agree.

I don't think that the distinction is the Mason-Dixon line. I think that the distinction is rural versus urban. People in downstate Illinois tend to marry younger (often highschool romances) than people from Chicago. I have several friends who have moved here from rural Illinois and Indiana and all of their friends from home are married. But they aren't - because they moved to a large urban area at a critical age.

Cities offer many, many more people to meet. There are also a ton of things to do alone or with friends when it comes to cultural events, theater, dining, music, and so forth. When you have so many opportunities to have a great time while single and meet a huge number of wonderful people, the need to settle down is not as strong as it might be in an area of the country with fewer things to do and people to meet.

Now - I don't think that means that people here are not marriage-minded. I would guess that the same percentage of us want to get married and have children. But we live in an area where we are likely to make more money, have more things to do with that money, and more people to do those things with. So we just don't settle down as early.

Sometimes I think that we have too many options and that it allows us to not focus on marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
In reply to: python3000
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 11:10pm

Thanks for your responses, please keep them coming! I love reading about this from all you different women, it is helping me a lot. Please keep the responses coming!

Thanks!!