Not doing well today

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Not doing well today
12
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 1:59pm

I am not doing well today.

Soliel

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Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 03-02-2008 - 3:11pm

All good posts. It's funny, I had a dream last night about a guy I was involved with for about 3 years almost 30 years ago. He was my first real boyfriend, first real sex, etc., and we had a lot in common and a lot of chemistry. However, it was also very stormy, he broke up with me about 3 times, but I finally ended it as I was ready to move on to someone more mature without a drinking problem. It just about killed me.

Anyway, in the dream, we were traveling and while he was out of the hotel room, the couple in next room became friendly with me. Later, I was sitting at a table with this couple and my boyfriend joined us. The husband was taking a great deal of itnerest in me, asking me lots of questions, not trying to hit on me, just interested. My boyfriend was becoming more and more jealous and silly, and finally got up and left the table. I almost let him go, but then got up to go talk to him. And I realized in the dream just how pathetic he was.

When I woke up and thought about it, it just confirmed what I've known for a long time: even though the relationship had many wonderful things, it would just never work. I agree with the other posters: don't beat yourself up for not appreciating what you had. I think you did appreciate it, it just wasn't meant to be and it's certainly not all your fault. BTW, my ex is still penniless, and it's been almost 30 years.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 03-02-2008 - 8:18pm

It sounds like you are sad and your need for companionship is not being met. I believe regret is an emotion that drains us for unless we resolve it then it stays with us. I believe in moving on for that is my spiritual practice, to be in the present moment. If I am not in the present moment then I am in the past looking back and letting the emotions of pain and regret drag me down.

I also believe in honoring what is in the moment for me like having those emotions of pain, regret, and remorse. The book “Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha” talks about being able to sit and embrace those painful emotions so we can deal with them better.

I just lost a soul mate relationship. I can focus on the losing part or think of it as what IS in this moment of time and it’s all part of Life and how we grow. I do not know the future and I may reconnect with her down the road. I know in this moment I am a richer person because of her. I hold hope of that reconnection and in the meantime I am honoring my mourning and moving forward.

May you be happy. May you be at Peace.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







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