Not my type, but...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Not my type, but...
2
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 7:10pm

I'm going to de-lurk right now! I'm feeling a bit confused and think outside opinions might help!

I'm currently single (for a year) and happy with my situation. I've always been the type to be in serious relationships and I feel my mid-20's is a great time to be independant and single. Up until just recently, I have not been interested in anything serious. Things are starting to turn around and I'm more open to meeting people. I have not come across anybody though that's really peaked my interest. I decided to do something out of character - yup, one night stand. It was with a guy that I've been aquainted with for some time now but I always knew he was not my type, not even close to my type!

Through our time together I learned that he's not who I thought he was but STILL not someone I would want to get involved with. It was very nice being close to someone again, and not even sexually, just to be sitting close or talking close. While I have no intention of doing anything else, there's a part of me that really wants him to continue to persue me even though I know he would do so for only one reason - I want him to persue me because he's interested in me and finds me to be something different from the usual.

I'm incredibly grounded and stable so this mental process makes no sense to me. My rational side and irrational side are fighting. Is this maybe a clue that I'm ready to get into something 'real' again or am I just trying to feed some basic need? If I know he's bad for me and the path only leads to heartache, than why am I hoping for it to be different, against all odds?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 7:20pm

I think we all have a basic need for closeness, and that's what you're feeling.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 7:49pm

I think it's perfectly normal for you to be feeling this way. Doesn't every woman want to be pursued? I know I do . . . I don't think it has anything to do with being grounded or stable. I think everyone wants to be wanted.

It's interesting how I can go for very long periods of time without being intimate and don't miss it that much. However, if I have a moment of weakness and let someone in, I have to start all over from scratch; a certain yearning materializes. It's like a drug.