Not sure where I belong anymore

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Not sure where I belong anymore
11
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 10:35am

I moved. I moved when my fiance and I broke up. I needed a change I hated my job I needed to be somewhere where there was life. I moved to where there is indeed life. I can't afford to live here. I can afford the basics but yesterday my car insurance came in and because I live in a city now it doubled, yes doubled. And the bill I got yesterday was only for one month. I will get my quarterly bill next month, that I don't have the money to pay. This job I took is boring me to tears. I don't hate it because anything is better than the situation I was in but I don't do anything....and when I mention it all they give me are websites to read. this is turning out to be a disaster.

I called home yesterday and my brother and his girlfriend were there and they just got engaged. I am happy for them but soo sad for me. I feined my excitement and just quickly got off the phone and crumbled. I just don't know where I belonged. Everything is such a mess. I can't handle wedding talk. I can't sit and listen to the planning. I can't even watch an episode of bridezilla's without breaking down.

I was doing so good. but now I just feel terrible. I try to get out and do things but I can't afford to put extra gas in my car to get to someplace free, I am overdrawn in my account every month so even $2 for a bus ride is too much.

And you just never hear stories of people in their 30's who find new relationships. I know its not old but I just feel like I'm going to struggle like this every single day for the rest of my life, and I have about 50 years left! I just don't know what to do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 11:21pm

I agree with the other posters, and no, you are not alone. I am 36, and I live about 30 minutes from Philly. I was with my ex for 3 years, lived with him, was engaged, when he broke it off with me last fall. I am embarrassed to say that I am still not over it and had entertained the notion of him wanting to work things out until recently. Then I found him on match and I was devastated.

I too am having difficulty making my bills. It's hard to cut back when you want to be spending money to make yourself feel better. I have credit card bills galore and had to trade in my car for a cheaper one, although I have yet to see the benefit.

It does get better, but since I'm still upset about my own failed relationship, I can say it obviously takes a long time.

I don't have specific suggestions for making things better financially, but it seems like the other posters have good suggestions. Try to make little cutbacks where you can and stick to a budget. I should really follow my own advice!

And I am forcing myself to believe that love will come again when I am ready and emotionally healthy. The same applies to you. Just take care of yourself and try to make yourself happy with other things as time goes on.

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