Now what is the next step...if there is
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| Fri, 11-09-2007 - 1:25pm |
Sorry it is long but I want to vent.
I met a guy yesterday thru a mutual acquaintance. The mutual acquaintance is a female friend that invited me on Wednesday to join her and the guy and other guy she knows. This friend wanted like to hook me up with this mutual acquaintance, since she knows im single. This female friend is divorced, no kids but is dating someone. So I went yesterday with her to a small pub in town and I met the 2 guys. We stayed there for about 3 hours or so. I think is normal than if u meet a guy for the first time, regardless it he becomes just a friend or more than that, you tend to not to talk too much or u can be a bit nervous since you don’t know that person. I guess that what happened with me yesterday.
When I went to the bathroom at some point, this guy told my friend that during the time we were staying there I mean there were 6 people on the table, and there were people who talked more than others because among themselves they know each other I was like the stranger there. I mean during conversations, I did not have like a dialogue or fluid conversations with the people, I answered some questions and try to reply to comments but I could say I did not talk much. So when I was in the bathroom, my friend told me that the guy told her that I did not speak much. First I feel kind of bad he thought that of me, but like I said I was just meeting the people for the first time.

See him again if you get the opportunity. Stop lying to him. Tell him who you really are, no matter the out come. He has kids, and he has gotten it wrong already. Assuming the best in him, he is serious about what he wants, and has the experience to know it takes a sober look and effort. He is trying not to repeat mistakes.
Be yourself and see what happens. You never know, you might not like everything you end up seeing either. You will never know until it is way to late if you hide from him, and in time, he will discover the truth anyway. Then he will wonder what else you are lying about. Just come clean kid. I would also say keep your eyes open, two kids, two women . . that is a 25 cent fix . . . . what did he not lean the first time? I am 47 and I have always liked the company of a women. I don't have a bunch of "unplaned" kids roaming about. Pretty basic protection in that one. The same thing that keeps things kind of safe . . . .
Don't ask me why, but that is a bit of a flag to me. This is why you need to be honest. He wants to ask you direct questions, if you lie, then how can you ask some in return and expect honest answers? (-: He clipped the tubes, that says something. I chose that after my youngest was born, I just knew it was all I could do well. Did he just make some errors in judgement when young? That happens.
Go slow, and if you see him again, be straight with him. I personally do not belive any good relationship is built on lies or secrets. (-: Just see what happens. In the end whatever that is was likely the right thing.
Of let´s say next time I see him, if I see him or have the opportunity to see it again, I will tell him the truth about me never being in any kind of relationship or dated before, that is the only lie I told him when he asked me questions, the rest of questions he asked I told him truth. I mean If I lied to him was because I was embarrassed to tell to a guy that I have never had any dating experience or even more had a boyfriend in my life at my 36 yrs of age, which is the strangest thing.
Easy, just like you told me. (-: Tell him you were embarrassed to tell him. I assume there are some reasons for your history, yes? Share those reasons honestly IF you feel like this guy is genuine. And, it sounds like you do lack a little experience . . don't be to devastated if he turns out not to be everything you hope. It certainly happens sometimes.
You said you are 36? I might get in a little trouble for saying this, but even if it goes wrong, I think a good fling would be a good thing for you. (-: If he is genuine, and you are where you are because you have been waiting . . then who knows, maybe he turns out to be the guy. Me, I just think male / female interaction is as natural as breathing. We try people on for size, and sometimes we find the right one, but often we have to try again. Just be sure
Maru, I have to disagree with oldjarhead's advice here. Just because you are inexperienced with men at age 36 does not mean you should seek out a fling with someone who may not be good for you. This guy has already made two women pregnant without marrying or, it seems, being in a committed relationship with either of them. I am not saying that he is necessarily a bad person, but he doesn't sound like a very responsible one. So I would think hard before jumping in. Society pressures people to have sexual relations as if it is some kind of accomplishment. Well, it isn't. You may have had perfectly valid reasons for not dating and you should never be ashamed enough to lie about it. If the man is turned off by your inexperience then, frankly, he is just not for you.
So, if you still like this guy, get to know him a little better as a person and see if he is genuine. If he pressures you into sex before you feel that it is the right and natural thing to do, then just pass on him. You deserve better.
Good luck to you Maru and keep your chin up!
After the last post I write here, nothing ever happened again with this guy, I mean because the first and last time I see the guy was just that day I went out with my friend. The thing that