Oh, how could I have made this dumb mistake? And is he right?

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Oh, how could I have made this dumb mistake? And is he right?
4
Sat, 01-04-2014 - 5:05pm

This is very embarrassing, but my new boyfriend caught me picking my nose (dont laugh) - like really deep picking while I was distracted on my cellphone.   Im not 100% positive he saw me, but he turned & left the room immediately - so much so that Im not sure he just didnt forget something & turn.    But I think he saw me & just reacted - not knowing what to do.   

He didnt say anything & we hung out a while longer, doing normal things.

Next day, we only texted, which isnt out of the ordinary for us.   He didnt mention a thing & sounded upbeat.  

The next couple days after that I kept texting him, but no response.   In fact, I never heard anything from him thru Xmas, nor New Years, nor the Holidays....altho I didnt keep texting him.  I decided the ball was in his court.  ... as me being available to him at a moment's notice has been something Id been trying to stop.   ie - not answering right away, not going to him right away, not texting or calling a lot.   So, on the side, Ive wanted to show him Im just not going to be there as he snaps his fingers.

Well, it's been two weeks & no word from him (altho, as I said, balls in his court - Im not calling or texting him again)!   

We had previously had discussions where he told me I was the only one on his radar & he was not on any dating sites at the moment.  

I REALLY now think that the nose-picking incident was as I feared.  He got so repulsed, that he doesnt want anything to do w/me anymore.

How could I not have been attentive enough, so as not to be doing this when he walked in!!!???   ie atleast go to the bathroom w/a kleenex or something.

Anyway, I am just so upset over this.   I dont know for sure this is what I think, but I suspect, as we are newly dating - maybe 2-3 months.  We've had periods of not talking - one or two time as long as 10 days  ... but never 2 weeks.   

Is there anything I can do to get myself out of this hole & get back w/him?   

Im kicking myself.   But at the same time - is he a very shallow person for just cutting me off for something like this???

:(    sigh   sitting home alone Sat nite.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2014

There seems to be another issue in that you only text and answer texts in the relationship?  Maybe it's just me but if I can't speak personally to the person I'm interested in, the interest is going to go away very soon.  Of course, I guess I'd have to say so in a text, right ?  :P

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Thanks for all everybody's input. He is a widow & has said he was having a hard time - She's been gone a year. Everything he's told me checks out. And he did, over the weeks, on occasion, tear up. And he's told me he wasnt sure he was ready to date again. But, yes, I guess the insensitive part here is that he cant even contact me back to say what happened or kiss off or sorry or whatever.... He is the GQ type & OCD about his house - so I DO think this may have sent him over the edge. thanks everybody! i feel a little better, as Ive been horribly distraught over this. Better to find out now, I guess. And I did even before this have the thought that he simply did NOT respect me as much as he should.... this shows it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I'm just thinking that both of my exes (DHs) would have made some kind of a joke about it--after all being married eventually people do gross things in front of each other.  I can't imagine that a guy who has been dating you for a while and liked you would break up with you over nose picking.  But then again, I don't think I'd like having a guy around who would let so long go w/o communication--after you had gone out more than a few times.  And especially that he should have at least called to say happy holidays.  You never know--he could have been dating other women too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010

While seeing  a woman pick her nose isn't ideal, one time isn't going to cause a guy to run especially after 2-3 months. You mention that he has vanished for 10 days before. He might  not be into you for multiple reasons or there may be another woman. Don't worry about one small incident.