Ok for women to wear rings??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Ok for women to wear rings??
15
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 1:24pm
Within the past two weeks, on two separate occasions, two male co-workers

of mine hit me with the same question in hopes of gaining the

female perspective on the subject. The fact that they BOTH asked me the

same question was purely coincidental and they had not discussed the

subject with anyone else prior to asking me. But today at lunch when the

second person asked me, about 10 minutes into the resulting conversation,

the first person who had asked the question came over and the three of us

discussed it together.

What they BOTH asked me was:

"Donna, why do you wear a ring on the RING FINGER of your LEFT hand

when you are NOT married or attached to anyone?"

I was fairly stunned by the question; it seemed so obvious to me--I

SIMPLY ENJOY JEWELRY! I ALWAYS wear three rings whenever I go

anywhere--the same two on my right hand, and I alternate the one I wear

on the ring finger of my left hand. I think only one of those that I

wear on my left hand could possibly be misconstrued as an engagement

ring as it is a diamond cocktail ring.

My co-workers both said that if they see ANY type of ring on THAT finger

of a woman's left hand, that they INSTANTLY assume that the woman is

involved in a relationship and they will NOT approach her! I found this

reasoning to be totally ILLOGICAL! My co-workers were quite adamant

about their views and said that most members of the male species share

the same line of thought.

I told them that I didn't think that women felt that way, that most

would probably wear a ring on the ring finger of their left hand

REGARDLESS of their status of involvement. I said that most women

would not feel insulted if they were wearing a ring that was obviously

NOT an engagement or wedding ring and a gentleman approached them.

This line of reasoning really angered one of my co-workers. He went so

far as to say that it shows where the moral code of today's female is

if they WANT to be approached. He basically stated that only SLIME

would approach a woman who was wearing a ring.

Anyway, after our little discussion, I went and talked to several female

co-workers of mine. ALL that I talked to felt the same way that I do;

that unless it is blatantly obvious that the ring is a wedding or

engagement ring, that it shouldn't prevent a man from approaching a

woman.

Tonight, a male friend of mine called me. I posed the question to him.

He pretty much agreed with what my male co-workers said. Now this really

has me concerned!! Do most men REALLY feel that ANY ring on the third

finger of the left hand AUTOMATICALLY means that the woman is spoken

for? And do most women REALLY feel that unless it is specifically a

wedding or engagement ring, that it shouldn't matter to the men, and it

is OK to wear a ring on ANY finger; that it shouldn't be construed as a

signal that they are involved!

If this is the case, then there is MAJOR miscommunication between the

sexes!! I thought it might be interesting to pose the question here and

see what the men and women here feel and think on the subject.

What do YOU think? Should a ring (ANY ring) be worn on the third finger

of a woman's left hand be worn ONLY if the woman is attached? Is a woman

who is wearing one generally judged by the male population as ATTACHED?

Do women generally feel that it is OK to be single and wear a non-wedding

or engagement ring on that finger and that it SHOULDN'T be construed as a

signal to the male species that they are attached?


.....donna

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Tue, 05-06-2003 - 3:00am
Well, here's an idea: in the past, I have intentionally slipped a ring on my left ring finger to keep jerks away and for safety reasons. As the messages on this board suggest, it does work. Only I have to remember when to take the ring off! But I have found that this strategy does help when deflecting unwanted suitors or suggesting that there is a fiance or husband for them to mess with if they try to mess with me. It does work.

Allegraz

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 05-04-2003 - 10:22pm
I wear a ring on BOTH ring fingers. Ironically, both were birthday gifts from my mom! My theory, is that if a guy is interested, he will compliment the rings, and then go from there.

This whole ring discussion makes me think of another "signal" -- rainbows. I have a Vermont Teddy Bear shirt with flower petals in a rainbow pattern. I bought it because I LIKE rainbows (and I can wear it with various colors of pants) but when I went out one day, I was hit on by a WOMAN! Turns out that if you wear rainbows, you must be gay. Since I hadn't been hit on by ANYONE in a long time, my ego walked away feeling pretty good, even though I like boys. :-)

And I made sure not to wear that shirt to the Melissa Etheridge concert last summer!

summer 2010 sig by Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 4:28pm
Hi. That's a good question! Luckily there are a few different ways to wear rings, like a

ring on other fingers, leaving the ring finger bare. This single life is harder than I thought! lol

wrestleingfan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 5:39pm
I don't usually "argue" on these things - but I have to say, I was NOT giving you "advice". I was disagreeing with you. Obviously you are not mature enough to handle it when someone disagrees with you - as you feel the need to threaten to "disappear" b/c of it. So if I don't agree, you won't play with me?

Granted I am in a cranky mood today - so I may be over reacting.

Go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 4:14pm
Sorry for sounding criticial, but my above posts were just my way of contributing to the discussion. I'm really not looking for nor in need of any "advice" about how this relates to approaching men for me personally. I just wanted to voice my opinion, because I thought it was an interesting topic.

Returning to lurking...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 10:30am
If you want to wear a ring - fine! Why not approach the men you are interested in - instead of expecting them to bend to you. Its not a RULE, its a cultural tradition to make mating easier. Thats something I appreciate! Why should men be expected to come up with opening lines, ways of finding out if YOUR single, etc? You seem to like THAT cultural tradition...you can't have it all...

Go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 10:05pm
The "rule" I was referring to is that women choose not to wear any type of ring on that finger, unless it is to signify marriage/commitment. Personally, I think it's kind of dumb, but I would probably not wear a ring on my finger if I was trying to meet someone, seeing that the other person may get the wrong impression because of this.

You're right...today there are many variations on engagement/wedding rings. It can be hard to tell.

Maybe the point of this whole topic should be that guys should find other ways of finding out if a woman is single, instead of assuming her status by what is on her ring finger.

And...what about guys who are married but don't wear wedding rings?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 6:51pm
I don't quite understand your post. What "rule" are you talking about...the custom that wedding and engagement rings are worn on the 3rd finger of the left hand?

I also don't understand how a casual observer is supposed to know what constitues a wedding or engagement ring without asking, since people wear all sorts of different rings for those purposes.

Sheri


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 6:46pm
I'm a woman and I NEVER, EVER, NEVER wear any rings on my wedding finger. To me, that finger should only have an engagement and/or wedding ring on it. Just because a ring is not yellow gold with a diamond on it, that doesn't mean it's not an engagement ring! As far as I'm concerned "anything goes" with an engagement ring. I certainly wouldn't mind having a unique rather than a standard engagement ring. Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 5:55pm
I had never heard of the ring thing until an ex-boyfriend of mine told me, while we were dating, that he almost didn't approach me because I was wearing a ring on my left finger. He had to ask a friend of mine if I was single to be sure. I have to admit that it has made me more conscious now of where I wear my rings.

I think it's pretty ridiculous if men are going to judge a women's singleness by the fact that she is wearing ANY type of ring, other than an engagement or wedding ring, on her finger. Who made up this "rule" anyway? But I guess it's good to know what men are thinking to avoid any misunderstandings.

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