Okay different question...
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| Wed, 07-18-2007 - 12:57pm |
Okay so if you read my OP, different question on the same subject...
What's the RIGHT thing to do?
I'm conflicted. He did want to go on this trip but because he's not so bright and didn't plan ahead he can't go. Fair enough.
As a good girlfriend, what's the right thing to do? I know what *I* want to do and to tell him "too bad, so sad." But is that the correct thing?
If this situation were reversed, how would I feel?
"Stand By Your Man" and being forgiving and being flexible keep going through my mind. But what about "Stand By Your Woman?" What about being responsible and acting like a grown up and taking other people's situations (like your girlfriend) into consideration?
He suggested my taking off a few days during this vacation time in August when we can go instead together on a drive somewhere closeby. Like one of the wineries. I don't WANT to go to a **** winery - we can do that over a weekend!
He has told me that I can be selfish at times. So what is the RIGHT thing to do? Men - please weigh in on this. I need help making a decision.

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I seem to remember that your boyfriend has asbergers, right?
He wants you to pay the consequences of his actions? That doesn't seem right or fair to me! It's bad enough you would be going alone because of what he did, but to not go at ALL?? Ridiculous, IMO.
The "right" thing is for him to say, "honey, I am SO sorry my actions caused this problem. Go and have a great time, we'll do a vacation together soon!"
Sheri
>>The "right" thing is for him to say, "honey, I am SO sorry my actions caused this problem. Go and have a great time, we'll do a vacation together soon!"
That's the right thing for HIM to SAY. The question is -- what is the right thing for HER to DO.
I have the answer but I will wait till I hear some responses first.
Edited 7/18/2007 1:50 pm ET by c2shiningc
Yes, I understand that, I actually read pretty well, thanks. My point is, I don't think that's the issue here.
I agree with Shy and Sheri about this - go on the trip anyway.
In response to my own question:
>If this situation were reversed, how would I feel?<
I have a hard time seeing this because I am a planner. My time is tight so I make sure to plan it out.
BUT - if something like this were to happen... *SIGH*... I guess I would hope he would cancel and we could just do something together like a stupid little drive.
I wouldn't expect it, I guess. I would pout if he went through with the Mexican trip, but I would get over it, especially if it were my fault in the first place. But I would hope that he would want to spend his time with me.
I guess I have my answer. :(
Am I happy? No. I would like to find a life partner who feels MY time is just as important as his own. What I got is a good guy with a good heart but who can't see past the end of his nose.
(And to answer Shy - yes, this is the one with Asperger's. I'm sure this plays a part in that.)
Edited 7/18/2007 2:48 pm ET by cml7721
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