OLD sites ARE created equal!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
OLD sites ARE created equal!
3
Wed, 06-25-2014 - 5:16pm

OMG I think I've tried them all: Zoosk, Match, POF. The only one I think I haven't is EHarmony (too expensive?  I can't remember why). Most recently I joined OurTime.

I'd say there is overall a higher quality in the men but it's the same ole, same ole.  Keep getting hits from men out of state, much older men, or men that look terrible for their age. Half of them even say they prefer someone younger.

I realize I'm not a beauty queen but I have never considered myself homely and my figure is still pretty decent.

UGHH. Once this subscription runs out I'm done.  I have little to no faith left in men.  So very frustrating. Maybe I'll should give one last shot and try a cougar site :-)) Just kidding!

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Wed, 06-25-2014 - 6:40pm
The thing is- there are only so many singles in a given area. I'm sure they're all trying out all the sites so that's why they're all the same! I have friends who are on POF or OKC or one of those. They go on dates, then tell me their horrible stories. One guy turned out to be a pedophile! I honestly meet more guys IRL than I ever did online. They still turn out to be the same ol' guys. They're just in the flesh and not just a picture.
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 06-26-2014 - 7:14am

Online dating is certainly not for the faint-hearted. I have done it off and on for the last six years. Like you, I hear from much older men, grizzled and pot-bellied (and shirtless) who write things like "Your hot". But I have also met nice guys, too, it just hasn't worked out with any of them. In the last five years, the only dates I have had were a result of OLD, so I'm going to keep on with it (and yes, I do "get out in the world" I just don't tend to meet desirable men my age). I think it's important to take extended breaks from it, because it does wear you down. 

I think the quality of the site has a lot to do with the area you live in. In my neck of the woods, POF is just awful. I also joined eHarmony a few months ago and it has been useless, and I have cancelled. They just can't find a match for me, so they keep sending men who are "outside of my settings" and most are just horrible. So, I am on Match and have had the best luck with that. One trick you can do on Match is to update your profile frequently--somehow this increases your ranking when someone does a search. You can just change one word of your profile and you become more visible for a while (it's kind of sad that I know these things, right?) 

Unfortunately, in my age range (59), I think that OLD is my best bet for meeting someone. The men I have met were all men I would have never met otherwise—and some I wish I hadn't! You just have to separate the wheat from the chaff, and there's a lot of chaff out there. In spite of it all, I haven't lost faith in men, I just haven't met the right one. 

But I can relate to the frustration—I gave up in disgust many times, but then always returned.

p.s. I never tried OurTime. Their commercials make me want to gag.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 06-26-2014 - 11:16am

Yeah, that's why I  can't be bothered w./ OLD any more.  I still have a profile up on OKC and POF because it's free--maybe once a month I'll check to see if there are any new men.  I very rarely message someone but I figure since I'm not on there often, they aren't seeing my profile.  There are few men that I like and the ones I message don't respond--and believe me, I only pick the guys I think I have a lot in common with.  I did find the best selection on match--I think when people pay they tend to take it a little more seriously.  But you also find the scammers too.  I live near a big city and it's not like there is no choice--there are probably 800 men in my age group with in 25 miles--and it takes a lot of time and effort to go through those profiles.  At least on match, you can check off the ones you don't like so you don't see those profiles again.  I thought EH was the worst--I tried it once for a 3-month special and in all that time, I only emailed one guy and we never met.  at least on match, when I was doing it, I met a couple of guys.

For me, I just couldn't take all the rejection.  Because I was paying, I felt like I should devote some time to it and not waste my money, so I'd email a lot of guys and not get much of a response.  of course the guys who emailed me were very undesirable--and believe me, I try to be open minded and give people a chance.  I also think that OLD has limitations because the first thing you think about is the picture--I'm sure there are guys I'd meet IRL who aren't that great looking but if I get to know them and like them, maybe I'd consider dating them and vice versa--so I'm sure there are many guys who just look at my picture, say never mind, and don't even bother to read the profile--I just think that's normal for the situation.  Then there's the age thing.  I was talking about it with a friend and she said you could take a few years off your age, but that never sat well with me.  Everybody has to pick an age group, so I undersatnd that.  But if you meet someone IRL, you don't go up to a stranger and say "what's your age?" so that's another reason why OLD is limiting--guys just have an idea in mind that if you're a certain age, you must either look too old, not take care of yourself or whatever they are thinking.  Yeah, the middle aged unattractive guys who think they can still get a woman 20 yrs younger are just fooling themselves (unless they are really rich) but whatever...

So I wouldn't say that I have no faith left in men.  I think my chances of finding someone are pretty slim and I'd rather just put my effort into doing fun things rather than actively trying to find a date.