Older women/younger men

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Older women/younger men
Mon, 02-25-2013 - 2:04pm

With our usual discussions about how men go for younger women, I saw an article about Holywood couples with big age gaps and 3 of them were older women/ younger men.  There was Susan Sarandon & Tim Robbins, who aren't together any longer, but they did last 20 yrs, Meg Mullaly (from Will & Grace) and Ron Offerman (12 yrs) and Hugh Jackman & his wife (13 yrs).  In real life, my cousin's MIL is married to a guy who is 13 yrs younger--he's early 50's and she's 60's so sometimes it does happen.  Not that I'm looking for a much younger man but I don't want a much older one either.  Around 5 yrs difference either way would be fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2012
Sun, 03-03-2013 - 9:39pm
I have never even thought about dating a younger guy, my ex husband is actually 8yrs older than me. But recently met a guy at wk who I found attractive & found out he is 7yrs younger than I! I could tell immediately we both were attracted to eachother & was actually surprised that he could be interested in an older woman. Im 31, hes 24. He looks much older for his age, and according to him, I look around his age (good boy :-) ) So we are slowy seeing what this could be, just talk for now, have had lunch once. Im not sure what hes looking for. (What is a 24 really looking for anyways??) Thats the problem, Im at a different stage in my life than him, ready to settle down-I have a son from my previous marriage, I need something serious, not some little fling that he is probably thinking this would only be. Oh well, only time will tell, but I will be guarding my heart.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Wed, 02-27-2013 - 11:13am

I don't want to date anyone younger then me BUT I feel that it will happen eventually due to the fact that I don't look my age so the guys...mainly in their 20's think that I'm in my 20's too BUT as someone stated...I don't really take younger guys seriously...although there are those who are really mature then some 40yr olds.My ex husbnad is 3 1/2yrs younger then me...he always looked older then me BUT it was something that I didn't like for awhile but then you just forget about it if you love the person.My ex bf was a few months older then me which I did like or I thought I did but then I thought that he would want to control me being the oldest...I don't know.I feel it's about finding the right partner in the end.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 4:24pm

  The real issue is doing the things that excite you.  Younger or older or same age has nothing to do with how you will get along.  Some want to stay at home others will want to go and o different things.  It depends on where you are geographically.  Some have lots of places to go and do, others have very little.   If is up to each person to make the best of what they have to work with.  That is life.  We are singly responsible for our fate.  Complaining is not functional.  The first thing is to be very honest with ourselves. 

  What do you really want for now ,for then ,for ever.



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 10:44am

I think as I get older, younger men are more appealing cause i don't want someone who just wants to sit around the house & not go out.  Although my 2d exH was only 2 yrs older than me and even in his early 50's he was already getting to be a stick in the mud--he always had some excuse not to go out--it's too crowded in a restaurant on a Sat. night--we'll have to wait too long, it's too hot, etc.

Now I have a male friend who I thought was around my age because he's super fit--then I noticed his BD on Facebook & I found out he's 64!  I couldn't believe it--he has a picture on there w/ his son going surfing and he's got a great body still.  Of course he's one of those who asks out the women 20 yrs younger--they probably don't know how old he is cause he looks younger.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 7:32am

I think it's hard to compare Hollywood couples to "real life." But of course there are examples of older women and younger men out there. Actually, I can't think of many in my circle of friends: I have a friend married to a man 9 years youger, and I have a single friend whose boyfriend is 9 years younger.

I've never had a boyfriend younger than me. I would really prefer someone my age, but a five-year span either way is fine. Of course I would consider more of a span than that, but it really just depends...I'm just stating my ideal. 

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Mon, 02-25-2013 - 10:02pm

I've never been attracted to younger men.. even now, I just can't take anyone more than 3 years younger than me seriously. I've always preferred them about 2-5 years older.  I do realize that now that I'm 53, that pool is drying up real fast...

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 02-25-2013 - 7:35pm

My brother is 45 and his GF is 50.  Interestingly enough, his ex wife was also five years older.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 02-25-2013 - 2:50pm

Well lets just say that is hollywood but I know what you mean.. I do know some folks where the guy is younger but its def. not the norm.. the percentage rate must be low although I have never checked the statistics. Its not to say that it could happen to regular folk such as ourselves as I am finding most people are older than me (lol) out in real world..(lol).. I was seeing a guy back in 2009 in summer who I met in a dance club. he was five years younger than me but he didnt seem to care.. Of course we just hung out and went out and kissed and that was it and I never noticed the age difference... He was just a huge flake but we had fun...

When I was 32 a guy moved in next door to me .. We started talking and hanging out and eventually started dating.. Well He was 20 years old and I didnt know it.. This lasted about a year.. Now that was a whopping great time. He assumed I was 26 and I assumed he was 26 so I figured we were the same age. His dad wanted to k..ll me..

I dont think a few years is that crazy but actually much older men turn me off and not because of their age but because of their acting old and such..... My 2ExHusband is 64 now and back when we were married I never thought about his age but now he seems old although he never acted it nor looked it.. I think when I saw him last year he aged alot...

I also think men love younger women because first off they can get them and second they want the fine skin and all of the perks that go along with youngness. Sorry to say it seems majority of men dont want women over 55 as they might think the woman is wrinkly and old and not holding up.. well that is online anyway