The One That Got Away?
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| Wed, 10-19-2005 - 11:40pm |
Does everyone have a "one who got away." I do and I'm tired of wresting with the thoughts in my head over whether it was best that we broke up or not.
He was my best friend and the kindest, funniest, coolest, most amazing person I have ever met. We got along so well. I tend to be very critical of people but he always made me happy and the more I got to know him, the more I loved him. I can think of several incidents where I just felt blown away by the chemistry we had. And wow was he good to me. He loved me with all of his heart.
So why are we not together? Because he is very short and not particularly good looking. Yes those are the dumbest, most immature reasons but as hard as I tried I couldn't get myself to consistently feel 100% about him b/c of this. So about six months ago we broke up and haven't spoken since.
Four months ago I started dating a tall, smart, good looking doctor. And though he is all those superficial things I thought i wanted in a man and he treated me very well, I found myself pining for my ex and the chemistry we shared. So yesterday, we broke up, too.
Now I just feel confused. I don't know if I will ever find someone with whom I share the chemistry that I had with my ex. But I also don't know if I could ever put those superficial doubts to bed.
When I think of a life with my ex, it puts me on cloud nine. I want nothing more than to feel sure that he is the one for me but you can't force what your feel in your gut. I know that a deep connection is way more important than looks - but I think there is still a part of me that wants to see who's around the corner. I keep hoping that I will just snap out of it and grow up and realize that what we had was rare and worth holding onto.
Anyway, I would LOVE to hear if anyone has advise or a story about something like this working out. Thanks for listening.

The ones I've dated that I really cared for have all had a good reason for break up, even if it was painful.