Online daters are social misfits

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Online daters are social misfits
51
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 12:31am
Almost every single person who has had to go online to find a date at some point has issues. I used to think this was the exception, but now I am becoming more and more convinced this is actually the rule. The vast majority of (normal) people are not online. If they were, a search on any popular dating site for a given metropolitan area for a given age range would turn up tens of thousands, maybe hundreds. Instead, only a couple of hundred at most show up. Normal people don't go online. They have for centuries, or at least for many decades preceding the internet age, been meeting, dating and marrying people within a circle of friends or acquaintances and been perfectly content with it. Those who did not, grew old, died alone and got eaten by their cats. But now all of a sudden another pool of potential dates opens up and these social misfits are as discontent as ever.

'Misfit' may be a slight exaggeration, but despite their outwardly appearance of normalcy, most aren't 'normal'.



Which begs the question - what is wrong with these people ?




Edited 10/29/2007 1:07 am ET by capegirardeau
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 8:28am
I won't go into detail - the OP already said it all. Yes, meeting someone in a bar in a club does not always
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 9:00am

LOL really I've seen tons of unattractive men AND women at bars and clubs especially at dance clubs which is why I don't frequent them.


Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 9:07am

Do you think perhaps your newfound confidence in your appearance helped you to present yourself in a different way?


<<< I am not exaggerating: about 2 week later, I went out to a club and met my bf with whom I have now been for coming up to 4 years and living together for coming up to a year. >>>


Congratulations. However, the odds of finding a quality SO in a bar are pretty low.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 9:59am

'Do you think perhaps your newfound confidence in your appearance helped you to present yourself in a different way?'


Nope. I've always been very confident

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 10:52am
Thanks for being honest ! And good for you that things worked out, and better still, it happened the old fashioned way. Maybe I was a tiny bit of a misfit too. When I first got into OLD a year and a half ago, the normally very sociable me completely shunned human company (other than those I met at work) and became a social recluse. I would get home from work and go straight to bed with my laptop and spend hours browsing through pages and pages of personals. "Wow..so many chicks..and mine for only a click ??" It was addictive. It gratified the desire of meeting people but without actually having to approach them and from the comfort and security of home. Needless to say it was unproductive, not to mention it made me plain old lazy. Not only was I not actually meeting people (except a few crazies that I met -- and they all fit the pattern), I was wasting time that could have been spent doing other things. Glad it's over.




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2006
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 11:13am

I agree with you. I met my boyfriend the old fashioned way. He saw me a couple of times, liked the way I looked, introduced himself to me, the rest is history. We've been together now for 2 1/2 years and going strong. I think the internet can make people lazy and not want to get out there and meet people for whatever reason. Could be some kind of hangup that they may have on themselves, who knows.


I also agree with the poster, NewfoundSunshine about taking care of ones' self appearance, whether it be

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 11:29am

'..This "accept me as I am" doesn't cut it for a lot of people when searching for mates'


Absolutely. IMHO, in majority of cases, this 'accept me as I am' is simply denial and lack of willpower or sometimes even

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 12:38pm
I like reading your posts. They are cocky. Can we see a pic of you or your profile? I would like see where you are coming from?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 12:58pm
No
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 1:56pm
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Edited 10/30/2007 4:04 pm ET by capegirardeau