Online daters are social misfits
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Online daters are social misfits
| Mon, 10-29-2007 - 12:31am |
Almost every single person who has had to go online to find a date at some point has issues. I used to think this was the exception, but now I am becoming more and more convinced this is actually the rule. The vast majority of (normal) people are not online. If they were, a search on any popular dating site for a given metropolitan area for a given age range would turn up tens of thousands, maybe hundreds. Instead, only a couple of hundred at most show up. Normal people don't go online. They have for centuries, or at least for many decades preceding the internet age, been meeting, dating and marrying people within a circle of friends or acquaintances and been perfectly content with it. Those who did not, grew old, died alone and got eaten by their cats. But now all of a sudden another pool of potential dates opens up and these social misfits are as discontent as ever.
'Misfit' may be a slight exaggeration, but despite their outwardly appearance of normalcy, most aren't 'normal'.
Which begs the question - what is wrong with these people ?
Edited 10/29/2007 1:07 am ET by capegirardeau
'Misfit' may be a slight exaggeration, but despite their outwardly appearance of normalcy, most aren't 'normal'.
Which begs the question - what is wrong with these people ?
Edited 10/29/2007 1:07 am ET by capegirardeau

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I'm doing this hangout thing right now with a guy I met through friends. I do have to agree that it has taken a lot of pressure off the whole situation. We're just having fun with each other, getting to know each other, and that's it for now.
With "screening" dating, as you described, I also feel a pressure for things to progress by a certain number of dates. Kiss by date #x, invite him over by date #x, become exclusive by date #x. It feels more like a scientific experiment following a prescribed set of rules rather than a natural progression based on attraction and interest.
I have done online dating on and off a few times. This last time convinced me to stop trying that method, because I was never able to reach a real comfort level with any of the guys I met. I wouldn't call them social misfits (nor myself, of course), but the whole thing did feel clunky and a little phony with each person I met.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Although I do not think all attraction has to do with outer appearance by any means (I believe we radiate our feelings and who we are), I definitely think you speak the truth.
So many need to hear this message, IMO.
I am very big on the style issue.
Yea! You said it. Everyone wants love in their life. There are way too many people whining about being alone but not looking at themselves and asking, what adjustments can I make so that I can appear more attractive.
Competition is tight in the dating game so you gotta get on your game! Men are on the visual. Personality is great, but that doesn't attract
Maybe your sister's style reflects her own tastes and she's comfortable with her own unique style.
Well, my comments apply to men, too.
Hmmmmm.... Well it's just my opinion.
I think it's great that you notice those things--but you're filtering it all through what YOU like, what works for you.
Ok--so you like all sorts of styles but not your sister's, is that what you're saying?
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