Online daters are social misfits

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Online daters are social misfits
51
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 12:31am
Almost every single person who has had to go online to find a date at some point has issues. I used to think this was the exception, but now I am becoming more and more convinced this is actually the rule. The vast majority of (normal) people are not online. If they were, a search on any popular dating site for a given metropolitan area for a given age range would turn up tens of thousands, maybe hundreds. Instead, only a couple of hundred at most show up. Normal people don't go online. They have for centuries, or at least for many decades preceding the internet age, been meeting, dating and marrying people within a circle of friends or acquaintances and been perfectly content with it. Those who did not, grew old, died alone and got eaten by their cats. But now all of a sudden another pool of potential dates opens up and these social misfits are as discontent as ever.

'Misfit' may be a slight exaggeration, but despite their outwardly appearance of normalcy, most aren't 'normal'.



Which begs the question - what is wrong with these people ?




Edited 10/29/2007 1:07 am ET by capegirardeau
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 8:35pm

Okay.


I went out for a bit and was thinking about this issue.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 9:59pm

I think, NWW, you might be making this more personal than it is.


I don't believe one's dress defines who they are and it doesn't really effect how I feel about them.

Soliel
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 10:42pm

I didn't say you were judging her character--my point is that you seem to want her to change her style to conform to YOUR standards (or standards that you deem acceptable--in any event, something OTHER than what she likes and is comfortable with).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 1:16am

I would have to disagree with you here....


A life not examined is a life not worth living
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 6:47am

'..Maybe your sister's style reflects her own tastes and she's comfortable with her own unique style'.


As I mentioned in one of my posts, my ex-friend and flatmate

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 10:23am

I have to disagree, I have met a ton of "normal" people online. Just because I may not have been a good fit for some of them or they were not a fit for me, does not mean they were social misfits. Most them were perfectly socially equipped.

I will say that I don't live in large metropolitan area which may have something to do with your observations. In more rural areas, there are not as many clubs, bars etc. in which to meet people and many times most of the people you are acquainted with are married so there are very few people to introduce a single friend to and of course those may not work out either.

I think your observations are subjective based on your experiences and the area in which you live, your circumstances etc. It would not be fair to generalize to an entire population of people based solely on your personal experience.

Sorry you had such bad luck with OLD,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 11:14am

NWW


It was only a thought.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2006
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 11:26am

No need to defend yourself chica. You make a lot of sense to me. If people are disatisfied with things that are

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 11:57am

And you know what?

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 12:40pm

I absolutely 100% agree with everything both yourself and lv2breathe have said on the subject so far. I too don't understand why NWW is getting all upset about the whole thing unless she can deep down relate to people like lv2breathe's sister and my ex-friend.


'If people are disatisfied with things that are