Online daters are social misfits

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Online daters are social misfits
51
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 12:31am
Almost every single person who has had to go online to find a date at some point has issues. I used to think this was the exception, but now I am becoming more and more convinced this is actually the rule. The vast majority of (normal) people are not online. If they were, a search on any popular dating site for a given metropolitan area for a given age range would turn up tens of thousands, maybe hundreds. Instead, only a couple of hundred at most show up. Normal people don't go online. They have for centuries, or at least for many decades preceding the internet age, been meeting, dating and marrying people within a circle of friends or acquaintances and been perfectly content with it. Those who did not, grew old, died alone and got eaten by their cats. But now all of a sudden another pool of potential dates opens up and these social misfits are as discontent as ever.

'Misfit' may be a slight exaggeration, but despite their outwardly appearance of normalcy, most aren't 'normal'.



Which begs the question - what is wrong with these people ?




Edited 10/29/2007 1:07 am ET by capegirardeau
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 12:50pm

'..And you know what?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 2:03pm

Woah, woah, woah--you are taking things FAR too personally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 2:10pm
;-)
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Registered: 11-29-2006
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 2:29pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 3:47pm

Sheri


I don't know where you got the idea it was personal to me.

Soliel
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 4:01pm

K, I've tried numerous times to explain what I mean and since you're reposting the same points I've already addressed, I don't feel you're

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 4:16pm

I feel the same way about you.


You accuse me of reacting personally when it wasn't *I* who reacted so strongly in the first place.


You say I don't address your comments when it's like mine have been ignored.


You keep telling me I don't accept my sister, when I have and do, when I just think she could do better.


You keep telling me I am imposing my style

Soliel
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 4:45pm

Actually I *have* addressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 5:16pm

Sheesh, guys, relax!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 10:00pm

I guess I am fortunate that I did not have to change a thing to get a man. I could lose a few pounds and I might need dental work, but my boyfriend thinks I am a goddess. I've never believed that I should change anything about my appearance for a man. For myself, yes, because that was authentic. That was what *I* wanted to do.

I've always had men in my life... just not the right ones.

I have not seen anyone raise this point... how do you know that someone really wants you for you? What if you lost weight or changed your style of dress, met a man, dated for a while, then started to gain weight or reverted back to your old style? Would the guy still want you then?

If your solution is to keep working at it, keep the weight off for example, fine, *if* that's what you really want to do. It doesn't make sense to me to do so much work just to hold on to someone, or to get them in the first place.

A~