Online dating--pics

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Online dating--pics
12
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 3:56pm
I've been e-mailing with a guy from Yahoo personals for a few days (only sent about 4 messages each) and today received a message from him asking for a "full body" pic (he wrote other stuff, but that's what really stood out). We both have head shots posted in our profiles. I was a little offended by the request, but then realized that I had described my body type as "average" and he might be checking to see just what I meant by "average". Does this seem like an unusual request?

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Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 2:13pm
Thanks for all the advice. Of course, I disregarded all of it and sent him a picture. He sent one in return that practically had me drooling. I know there was another discussion going on about not saying someone is out of your league, but I really think this guy might be out of mine. I know that's not all I should judge him on and he did send some nice e-mails, but I can't help wondering why this gorgeous guy would even consider me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 6:24pm
launch him. geez, what a pea-brain he is...
Avatar for cl_shywon
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 6:12pm
Sheri, I agree with you. I've also struggled with the whole average/few extra pounds thing before. I honestly don't think it means much to guys. The majority of them are looking for the slim little thing anyway (that's from my experience with searches here). The reality is, most men have no idea what "average" looks like anyway! I've never liked those descriptions. I think they should give examples of models or something so we can pick the closest!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 6:08pm
He is looking to see if he likes your body. Now, this would be my thinking- You've emailed four times each. He should have decided whether he wants to meet you or not by now. If he needs to know your body type to figure out if he can give up an hour of his time, then he's just looking for arm candy or sex. If he was someone worth your time, he'd meet you and go from there.

I'd drop him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 5:53pm
hmmm - but here's the thing - almost every guy I have ever met on Match. who is under 5"8 lies about his height by two inches - it doesn't matter to me- not the height and not the "lie" because I do understand that men are very sensitive about height - I don't know - it just doesn't bother me - but if I saw "slightly overweight" or "a few extra pounds" I would wonder whether that really meant "obese.' Not a dealbreaker - I would look at the pic and talk to the person - but I would wonder.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 5:51pm
I agree - I think it is rude/bordering on offensive to ask for another pic unless the one given is very very far away or very blurry.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 5:07pm
Just a side comment on this...I honestly don't understand why people (both men and women do it) lie about things like weight and height! I mean, if you eventually meet anyone in person, they're going to know you lied!

I've had so many guys say that they thought I was going to be larger than I am because I put "slightly overweight" on my profile. I guess their experience has been that everyone lies and no one puts "large"! Friends have also said I should put "average" but I don't feel comfortable with that. Personally, I'd much rather have someone be pleasantly surprised than disappointed!

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 5:02pm
Well, the only reason to ask for a "full body" shot is to see if he likes your body. And if a guy is going to base his decision on whether he's going to meet for a cup of coffee (45 minutes out of his life!) based on that, then someone else can have him!

I only look at pics to get a *general idea* of what people look like...it's silly to expect that someone be accurately represented by a photo.

Sheri

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 4:54pm
I have to admit that I too have shown tendencies of being shallow while doing this online dating thing. I do decide whether to even read someone's profile based on their pictures. But, I know there has to be some attraction for there to even be any hope of it working out. However, I make my determinations based solely on the profile pic and never request additional pics.
Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 4:50pm
This guy mentioned in his message that past experience has taught him to ask for the picture. It sounds like he may have had the same experience as your guy friends. I don't list my weight (because Yahoo doesn't ask for it and I'm not in the habit of giving out that info) and don't mention that I'm slim (because Yahoo's option is "slim/petite" and I'm too tall for that to be an accurate description). So, I guess he had no way of knowing without asking. But, still, I agree, we could have met for coffee and he could have found out then. But, because I've liked everything else he's had to say in his messages, I may let that comment go. Not sure yet. I guess I'll decide when and if he responds to me next.

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