the only single friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2004
the only single friend
6
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 5:43pm
Hi, I'm 24 and single. Not that it's a problem to be single, but I am the only one of my group of friends that isn't with anyone. So, you can imagine how tough it is to get these girls to go out and do the bar thing where I would meet guys. Pretty much I'm lucky if I go out with the girls once or twice a month. Time for new friends, huh? Does anyone else have that problem?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 8:18pm

Hi, I'm 25, and the only single friend. Most of my friends are older than I am by quite a lot, and married. I do have a couple of close girlfriends who are my age, but they're also involved in long term relationships, and to top it all off, they're also both pregnant right now. So, yeah, I know what you mean!

Luckily, I am also friends with my girlfriends' husbands, so often when we go out, we go out as a group, and since all of my girlfriends are taken, I pretty much have the single guys to myself. Also, I use my friends and their husbands as a guidepost. Sometimes they see a red flag or warning sign I wouldn't have.

So, it isn't all bad, and when they're complaining about not ever having time to themselves I can thank my lucky stars! I'm always up for meeting and making new friends, but I'll never be able (or want) to replace the ones I have- they're simply awesome. Our friendship means so much more to me than just being able to go out together.

If meeting guys is a problem, maybe your girlfriends know someone... ask them to hook you up! Mine are always suggesting I meet so-and-so's cousin, or hairdresser's nephew, or whatever. It doesn't mean I do, but the people who know us the best know who would be compatible with us.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2005
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 10:15pm

I have no single friends at all. Everyone around me is paired up, even my Grandma. Makes me feel like a big loser.

And I do NOT want to be "fixed up"! My best friend tried twice with her brothers-in-law, without even telling me. The first was cute, but a smoker - no way. And the second was freshly divorced and kept complaining about his ex all night - and he actually brought his kid along! Urgh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 7:54am

Ouch, Shandi, the joys of dating! I was going to post that I couldn't believe a guy would bring his kid along, but I can believe just about anything lately! It just goes to show that you can't win them all. I guess I haven't had any really horrible experiences (and sometimes the not so good can be seen as a learning experience if nothing else), but I also don't agree to every date my friends suggest. Sometimes I just have to say "no, but thanks".

I think you have to continue to try. I don't think we can appreciate the good if we don't experience the bad.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 8:50am

I've been in that boat before MANY times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 9:05am

This seems to be something that comes and goes for me. At one point, I'll have only married or "paired up" friends and then I'll meet new people or people will break up, etc. and it balances out.

The single people around me don't last long though, I'm usually the cure for the single girl. I've had 3 friends in the last 2 years that have been single when I met them and have met the man they married or are going to marry while hanging out with me. I'm good luck for that, I tell you.

Anyway, I can indentify with this feeling and though it's not fun all the time, my friends are my friends no matter what their status so replacing them isn't an option. But making new friends is never a bad thing. Maybe instead of relying on "going out" and bars to meet people you could take up some new activities in your community where it's less necessary to go in a group of people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 9:24pm
oh you, i hear ya. i'm 26 and all my friends are either married or have boyfriends, so YES i have this problem as well. the other aggrevating part about all this single-ness is that my ex has about 4 single friends and of course they are always out and about. i mean don't get me wrong, it's not like i think bars and going out are the only times/places to meet someone, but i find lately that even my couple-dom friends don't even want to move out of their house for dinner, movies, music UNLESS it's with another couple. it's like there is a serious movement against singletons in my area. good thing i'm moving in a few months, but for now i enjoy the silence and know that if i can get through being a hermit for months on end then when i finally do emerge it will be with a greater sense of appreciation and newness. i would look for new friends, but i have lived in this city since birth and am recently job hunting so my new friend making capabilities are hindered. oh well, hang in there and something will happen sooner or later.....im hoping way sooner than later.