Only Single Girl Left

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
Only Single Girl Left
13
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 3:49pm

Hi,


I've been lurking on this message board for awhile and finally today I felt compelled to ask for some help.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 4:29pm

Hi, I sympathize with your posting so much. I am 29, live in NYC, and almost the only single one left too! I too

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 6:03pm

My suggestion is to clear out some time in your calendar and consider joining a sinbles social group so you can meet more single girlfriends and try and meet single men together. I belonged to several ad met a few good girlfriends to do things with while trying to find men. Meetup.com has tons of groups nationwide. And there is also Meetin.org. Both have groups citywide.


The best thing a single girl can have is single girlfriends. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 6:30pm

Thank you both!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2007
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 7:56pm

I feel for ya!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 5:29pm

this is crazy! i just read ur post and thought it was Me looking back at myself! i'm a 27 NYer, the last single one in my group of friends and also have a younger sister who's 23...strange...


anyway, i'm also in the NYC area, and last week two (count em two) of my friends announced their engagements within hours of eachother, leaving me the last single one in my childhood group of friends as well. so i totally feel ya. i was upset too. but i had to pick myself up, i mean come on! what are we supposed to do? just sit around waiting on life to begin just because we're not coupled up yet? i refuse to do that!


I'm 27, attractive, single, and have plenty going for me to be considered a catch, and i refuse to settle for anyone just b/c everyone else around me has. and you shouldn't either!! your friends' lives are theirs to live, and yours is precious and unique as is. enjoy and embrace your single years, and while your busy loving yourself and exploring things u can do while single, you'll probably run into someone who's worth settling down with...NO rush! :)


PS there's plenty of us out there, we're not supposed to be in a race to get married...that'll just make u miserable..focus on enjoying life instead....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 8:32pm
You are not the only single girl left out there. There are lots of women who are in the same situation, being only single girl, when all girlfriends are either married/engaged/serious relationship. I understand it's hard not to be jealous. I remember a while back, I felt the same as you, jealous. I was married for 12 years when my late husband passed away, took 2.5 years to finally get out and date, dated some men, just got out of a 2 year serious (engaged) relationship due to abuse/drinking. Right now you need to focus your time on you, finding yourself, learning how to be single and happy at the same time, we owe happiness to ourselves and have to find it ourselves. Believe me, a man won't make you happy. Happiness comes from within each of us, we have to be at peace with ourselves, love ourselves for who we are, and accept ourselves to be able to give/share/love someone else. I don't know when and how I got over jeolousy stage, and then with countless one-on-one couseling sessions to deal with bad married and last relationship, I was able to find myself again and be at peace with who I am. I am not currently seeing anyone, I am being selective when asked out because I want to make sure it's the right guy who will respect me unconditionally the next time around. Maybe you should seek counseling to help you through the jeolousy stage and bring up your self-esteem. When our self-esteem is low, men see that, even though we think they don't. Men are watching us and from what I heard, they are attractive to womeon who can go out, be themselves, enjoy themselves, and confident. To make a long story short after I became widowed I set several goals to accomplish that I did not get to do prior to marriage and after marriage and such goals are as follows: find myself, learn how to make myself be happy, confident, go out and meet people, travel alone, attended Single Adult Ministries through a few churches in town. I have done so much that I can go out and eat dinner or a meal and don't have a problem going alone. Personally I don't like being on the spot to where I feel I am being picked from a line up - that's why when I do things my rule is to meet everyone and anyone (men and women) on a social level. I do trust and know when the timing is right I will meet the right one. Being in a relationship does not complete and/or make us whole - we make our ownselves whole and complete when we can accept who we are and where we are in our lives (being at peace with yourself and content). Things are harded when we want something so bad - I would say slow town, focus on yourself and when you least expect it the right one will come along. Also, I am very involved with church and trusting in the Lord and always looking up to him allows me peace everyday to where I don't have to be worring that I don't have a boyfriend or married.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 9:53am

Thanks again for the advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 12:24pm

I can certainly relate. I have been struggling with whether or not to take an FWB as a date to a holiday party this weekend, simply because everyone who will be there is married. I am so tired of being the only single girl at these events.

Good luck,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 1:14pm

Hey don't worry all of those friends will be single again in the next 2 - 10 years! LOL


By then you'll be the one in a partnership and wishing you were single like all your friends will be.


Embrace the things you are able to enjoy whilst single. I have been married before and apart from the double-income I am having a tough time seeing what the advantage was!


If you marry one of those great guys who actually really loves his wife and knows how to fix something in the house, stays faithful, works the entire time, has goals, etc

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2007
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 12:54pm

I truly believe the reason "most" of us "end up with an individual that doesn't know what he wants out of life and in reality doesn't know how to do cr*p, but add to your stress level." is because we allow ourselves to do so.

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