Open Marriage and Christianity

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2014
Open Marriage and Christianity
9
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 3:05am

Hi, all! I don't know if someone has already posted something similar on here because there are so many posts. But I have a question regarding the Christian religion and marriage; please go easy on me. I have been single for four years and after being attacked, I've given up on men-not where I'm gay or anything, though. So, I've befriended a man who is in an open marriage and was wondering if it is still a sin to innocently go somewhere or meet up with him. It is an open marriage and I am single. I am young and naive to a situation like this. Thank you.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 8:24am

Not to be flip here, but I've always said if you want to screw up your life, there are plenty of single men you can do that with. My first question is, "Does his wife think they are in an open marriage?"

I'm sorry you were attacked, and I hope you have received counseling for that. But I can't see how "innocently" meeting up with a married man is going to help you, regardless of how many years you've been single. 

In terms of whether it is a sin...I'll let the Christians on the board answer that question. But I have a hard time believing that open marriage is sanctioned by any religion. My thought has always been, "Why be married if you want to sleep around?" but that's just me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 10:11am

Hi. Yes, no religion (as tr

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 10:11am

Hi. Yes, no religion (as tr

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 10:11am

Hi. Yes, no religion (as tr

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 10:17am

I think that if you meet up with him--innocently in your mind--you will find out that when he has in mind is not so innocent.  As far as Christiantiy goes, the Bible teaches that married people should only have an intimate relationship with each other, so there would be no way that a Christian could have an open marriage.  As far as whether you are committing a sin, if you had sex with him, it would be a sin, since any sex outside marriage is considered sinful, now the question as to whether you are "leading him into temptation" as the Lord's prayer says--well, you have to think about that.

I think a much more healthy thing for you to do is to get some help so that you don't feel like you should have to give up on men because of your past.  If you do that, then you will look for a healthy relationship and not be wasting your time with a married man--and as Floridagirl said, who knows if he is being truthful about having an open marriage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 10:17am

The system has been malfunctioning a lot lately. It deleted almost all of my post--and then posted it 3 times!!!

Anyhow, hopefully, this will stick. No religion as traditionally interpreted allows a man to have an open marriage, although some allow a man to have more than one wife. For the last 1,000 years, mainstream Christianity has only allowed 1 woman per man.

Also, are you sure he really is in an open marriage, not just cheating and lying? Finally, I agree with Floridagirl52 that there are plenty of single horny jerks to throw yourself at. I just don't see involvement with this guy being a useful positive experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2014
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 7:02pm

Thank yall for answering-you've been very helpful. I just wanted to update-I had no idea my mother was reading our messages but she was and told him she will call the police on him if he doesn't leave me alone. Needless to say, when I woke up, he unfriended me and said to talk to her. I then saw what she wrote/did. I am sure he and his wife are in an open marriage b/c my mother told her and she did not care. I feel better, though, because there will be no more of us tempting each other and I didn't even have to end it. I also feel sad because I lost a friend and betrayed like, she did that. Now, I'm concerned of how class will be like on Monday when I see him; but I'm sure we won't be talking or ne thing...

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 04-19-2014 - 1:00am

 You learned the first rule; trust no one ever.  For they are not you

Second rule Yoda's principal: do or not do

Third rule: keep everything secret.   A secret once told is no longer a secret.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2014
Sat, 04-19-2014 - 3:16pm

You know his intentions and you know yours.  So you know the answer.  There's no dilemma.  You need to surround yourself with like minded individuals such as yourself.  But before you do that, get help.  Talk to a professional about areas in your life that are a concern to you,  It will help you not be so worrysome about these types of confrontations.