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| Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:36pm |
I posted this to the OLD thread so you may have read it there, but thought I'd give you guys a shot too :)
| Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:36pm |
I posted this to the OLD thread so you may have read it there, but thought I'd give you guys a shot too :)
I'm really starting to think that some men are just big babies who either a) won't risk rejection from a girl, even if he knows she'll say yes or b) just plain lazy.
Biochic2004,
I completely agree with you. I have met a lot of guys like this lately who expect women to chase them. It completely turns me off. I think it's a very unnattractive quality. In my experience, they either know how to treat a woman properly or they don't. As women, we need to take a step back, evaluate the relationship and have the mindset of not thinking of whether he is into us but whether we are into him.
Feisty
I'd say, yes, step back and don't initiate things with him, but don't step back and just hope that he'll come after you. Just pretend that he's already told you he's not interested, because that's essentially what he's done.
I totally agree with you that a guy should just say he's not interested, etc. if he's not, but I just really think that rarely happens. In fact, when I'm not interested in a guy, I can be downright ambiguous, lead him on and avoid the truth, even though part of me feels I should just say "I'm not interested." Sometimes I can't do it!! And I have a feeling he wouldn't even give you a straight answer if you straight-out asked him.
It's easy to get tangled up in a situation like this, but, in my experience, you're only tangling, not paving the path for something more. Imagine marrying this guy and then telling your friends, family, future kids about how you met daddy. Don't you want the story about your meeting and first few weeks/months of dating to involve your *both* being crazy about each other, not getting enough of each other - of him awkwardly asking you out, hands trembling because he thought you were so pretty? I don't think you have those stories with this guy, and isn't that kind of disappointing?
Looking back on the many times I have felt as you have, the thing I wish I could have done would be to pretend he called me and said, "I don't want a real relationship with you and never will," and then commit myself to moving on, ignoring any more bones he may throw my way in the future. Do you know why I wish this? Because not once has anything positive come from these yucky situations.