Oprah and Intention and singledom...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Oprah and Intention and singledom...
16
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 11:29am

Okay folks.

I was watching Oprah on Dr.Oz and she says she does nothing without "intention" ..So I am t hinking that in 2012 if we dont want to be single then I am assuming we have to create the intention of not wanting to be single and work from there.

This to me means putting out all of the stops to find someone whether it be multiple dating sites, singles events, speed dating, networking. hanging out where opposite sex goes , sports bars, etc.etc.etc...

This morning I asked a fellow friend on facebook if he knew any single normal men .. He is about my age so he might know single normal men.. So that was my first attempt at the intention.

Any thoughts???

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Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 12:26pm

I think it's always good to set an intention, "Chance favors the prepared mind" and "As a man thinketh..."

however...

I feel exhausted reading your list of things you are thinking of doing. Not that you or I couldn't actually do all of those things, but I think this sort of "battle plan" can lead to feelings of failure and total frustration when you don't get your intention. "What am I doing wrong? Is there another activity I need to go do to meet someone?" you might think.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 1:01pm

I agree with you somewhat Florida and yes I have been doing alot of these things but I dont think I am doing enough of them and at times due to fear of rejection not following through as much as I should.. even if its my age or whatever which is a reality I am seeing older folks out there getting together and becoming couples.

Oh; i cant speak for others but my life is pretty good right now. I have setbacks and glitches but I have friends, family and I have a pretty decent life

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 4:16pm

I think we all have to find the right balance between doing things w/ the intention or hope or goal, whatever you want to call it, of finding a partner, and then doing activities that havg nothing to do with that so we don't just go out of our minds.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 7:40pm

I think that's called doing what makes you happy- which is exactly what I do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 8:30pm

Beloved Free,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 11:21am

My exH was in his 50's and still blamed other people for everything--he always had this attitude that the world was out to get him and things that other people would realize that were just a bad accident, he looked at it like someone else was going to screw him over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 11:28am

Somehow that doesn't seem to work that well for me, Marina--I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 12:15pm
I personally just want to be happy, period. If I'm happy in a relationship someday, so be it but that isn't my focus. I realize that some people have a very strong desire for a romantic relationship, and I totally get it. I suppose I am just not one of those people although, perhaps that will change at some point, as it has for you. If it ever does become a priority, I have this foolish idea that I will have all the same opportunities I had a few years ago. Boy, does it sound like I'm going to be in for a rude awakening, if the day ever comes...

Good luck :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 12:23pm

Yep. that is what I was thinking that when we are ready for something it appears.. Its like when the student is ready the teacher appears.. That is what I meant by intention.

I went to a singles mingle at the library last night.. There was a woman there who said she put a positive affirmation on the fridge asking God to get her a job.. A few weeks later she got a call for a job.. Now she said that she was sending out resumes and taking tests.. So it wasnt like she wasnt doing the work..

I guess we can wish till the cows come home but not sure if that will get us a man, job or whatever. There has to be some effort put into it..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 12:42pm

Well, a close friend who was actually one of the "experts" on The Secret (not Mr Smith) and I were arguing this point a few months ago.

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