OT: I'm stuck.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
OT: I'm stuck.......
15
Tue, 09-24-2013 - 7:34pm

Hi,

So this is a Part II to my earlier whining post :) Basically, I've taken a new job in another part of the city which is a *murderous* drive.......it's starting to kill me.......just the extra hour to hour and a half tacked onto my day.......I have been unemployed on and off and I feel that this job could work out, but.....

Basically, my new boss is a workaholic.  I do mean in terms of hours (she works long hours and brings work home) but also the workload is tremendous.  I can pretty much keep up with the various requests from sales (6 + individuals) and corporate collateral that must be created, but she also expects me to be her "admin" and handle parts of her role.  We talked today......I thought she wanted me to "help" with her projects, but it turns out that I must take ownership of some aspects as well (I came out and asked her what her expectations are).  Everything in her world has to be *perfect* and I find that she micromanages/tries to control me.......e.g. if there's a situation that I would handle one way, she tells me exactly what to do.........it's only been approximately 8 weeks, but they hired me for my previous sales and marketing experience.......

At home I am feeling a bit bothered by the "mr. ex" situation......his family is everywhere and often when I take my dog out I will run into them.  It's just not comfortable all round.....

I don't know if moving closer to the job will make me happier/have more time but something is missing.......part of me desperately wants to move closer to work (and out of this building) and part of me says "RED FLAGS!!" - with the new job........

Sorry.........just had to vent.......my dog is a good listener, but not too good with the feedback.......... :)

Pages

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Wed, 09-25-2013 - 8:21am
I'm gonna make this short and to the point bc I've lost posts this past week- I've *known* you for awhile now, so I feel comfortable being blunt. It's time to suck it up. Every job you've had over the past several years has had an issue you've found, usually related to what seems to be too much work. Most of us are killing ourselves working our butts off right now. It's just part of life. Do what your boss asks of you and then some. It's the only way to get ahead. Move if you want, but don't do anything to jeopardize your job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Wed, 09-25-2013 - 9:01am

Thanks SHY, but I think that's a complete overgeneralization.  While I've seen friends sit at home and continue looking for jobs, I've taken jobs that other people wouldn't even consider.  MANY of the people who were laid off along with me have not even sought alternate employment.  And NO.......it was not due to the amount of work that I had complaints - it was because I was basically accepting work from GHETTO employers.  I have spent time working in call centres, canvassing malls to "educate" retailers about proper garbage disposal procedures, you name it.

Anyhow.........I'm tired of being sensitive to everyone's rants on this board.  Maybe time for a break for this poster.......

Good Luck!!

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Wed, 09-25-2013 - 11:53am

Mel hi there,

Don't go away.

Some people on village tend to offer options on things of which they have absolute zilch experience. I mean, I don't drive. Means, I won't be giving people on any boards any advise re: how to drive a car. 

I have lived and worked in a huge metropolis for 20+ years and I know ALL THERE IS to know about 'ghetto' jobs, taking anything, leaving 2 weeks later, being let go 2 weeks later, trying and trying and failing, abusive/workaholic/psycho/nightmare bosses etc etc etc etc.

I'll post more in a couple of days....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Wed, 09-25-2013 - 2:13pm

Why don't you try to find a work from home job instead in that particular field or something close? NO JOB is worth you working yourself to death...those people who 'just suck it up' well they're 6 ft under in the ground now...not being able to enjoy a thing because they were worked to the bone!

Try looking for work online but until then...do the best you can..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 09-25-2013 - 2:26pm

Well if you are unsure even about keeping the job, then it's probably not a good idea to move closer.  I really think you should try to stay there for a while--it's one thing if you were hired for temp positions and you had no choice but to leave, but employers really don't want to hire someone w/ a work history that shows they won't stay at a job for a while.  Do not quit unless you already have a position lined up.  Since your boss is telling you the exact way she wants certain things done, then hopefully if you keep doing it "her" way, she won't have to continually keep telling you.  Then you could approach her with an idea to do something differently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Wed, 09-25-2013 - 6:09pm

Hi Everyone,

I feel like I should apologize for this original post........I had a bunch of things going on in my my mind and just basically vented.  Many of you had already given your opinions about the work/move situation.......I almost deleted it this morning (and should have).

I know I have gone through several jobs in the last couple of years and I absolutely do want this one to work.......which is why I'm considering moving closer.  I feel that with the distance, I may miss some time in the winter and this won't be acceptable to them.  That being said, as Music has rightly pointed out (more than once) I haven't been there long enough yet......

The boss thing.......I guess that's just a new wrinkle in the situation.  She chewed me out again today about something minor - I think perhaps this is her first real go at "managing" someone and I am the test subject.  She was rather nice to me later on......

The situation will work itself out......hopefully for the better and me being fully employed there, whether it's where I currently live or somewhere else......

Have a good one everybody. :)

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Wed, 09-25-2013 - 11:01pm

Mel, do not apologize.  But as some have posted here, some of us in the US may have a different perspective.  Here, there are many who are busting their butts just to pay the bills.  You have a number of advantages in Canada, particularly a much stronger social safety network.  Specifically, guaranteed access to health care.  This is not a political board and I will not get into the politics of it all, but there are many Americans who are forced to stay in jobs they literally detest because they or a loved one have a medical condition.  You are unfettered by this consideration.  You are pretty young.  Have you thought about training in a field with more secure employment?  I am sure you could get help for that.  What are you most interested in?  Also, we in the US get much less paid time off and many of us work 10-12 hour days, 5+ days per week.  Respectfully, I would say you are not in a bad position.  You DO have options.  Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Thu, 09-26-2013 - 7:20am

Hi,

While I agree that the U.S. does have some disadvantages and our social safety network may be stronger, it is certainly not the rosy picture that people picture here. 

While I was unemployed, I researched extensively going back to school for a year to transition into a more stable occupation, however, it was basically impossible to meet the criteria that is required for any assistance to be provided.  I owed  $30k in student loans and just finished paying them off last year (after 17 years).  Being single, I have been forced to take many jobs that other people wouldn't consider (and job counsellors told me were not anywhere near my level).  Now I am working a *significant* distance from home and just trying to juggle things.......rents in metropolitan areas in Canada are also sky high - you are looking at $1k a month for a one bedroom apartment in Toronto.

I won't go into the ins and outs.......I think the economy in Canada has suffered tremendously as well and in the major centres the competition for jobs is *extremely* high. 

Ugghh......no winning any arguments here.  Wish I hadn't posted this.

M

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Thu, 09-26-2013 - 8:33am
I'm not saying it doesn't suck or you don't have valid concerns. I'm saying it sucks for 90% of the population right now. Most of us have bosses who are ridiculous and expectations beyond what they should be. You're probably not going to find any better at this point, so you might as well just try to make the best of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 09-26-2013 - 8:54am

Not an "argument" per se, and I certainly am not qualified to comment on how rosy or grim the situation is in Canada, but I can share some numbers:  Average rent for a one-bedroom in my neighborhood is US$1,400, and I don't even live on the coasts.  Train fare to downtown (where I work) is US$2.25 one way.  On the rare occasions that I choose to drive, parking ranges from US$9 to US$15 a day; monthly parking runs about US$75 to US$200. 

Minimum wage here is US$7.78 an hour.

Single or not, I think we have all taken jobs "below our level".  While living with my then BF 12 years ago, I took a retail job that required heavy lifting when I was in between "real" jobs.  I have two graduate degrees and professional registration and BF was willing to "support" me, but I always believe in being self-reliant. 

Pages