OT: Selfish, Self Absorbed People

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
OT: Selfish, Self Absorbed People
8
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 2:11pm

I dyed my nieces roots yesterday, and actually got most of the pee-pee yellow color out of the back section of her hair(she's gone platinum).  My brother has been bragging for what seems like months now, about this new contract he helped to land and how he's getting (allegedly) a 50K bonus check out of the deal plus, a promotion. 

Do you think I got a "Thank You" or a "Hey, how much do I owe you"?  He came to pick her up and didn't even acknowledge me.  We've never been close but I've been extremely gracious to his two daughters - consistently.  There's a side to me that wants to stop "doing" for them, but that's not fair to them.

I didn't really need the money, but a "Thanks" sure would have been nice, considering I saved him at least a hundred dollars, probably more.  Plus, it took several hours when I factor in the time it took to go purchase products. 

I just don't understand people like this . . . when my parents are gone, I'm almost certain we won't have a relationship.  In a way, I don't care but again, I feel I've been so good to his girls (a friend of mine used to call me their surrogate mother) you would think that he would try to be polite at the very least, even if only for their benefit. 

SORRY!  I really needed to vent . . .

 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 2:21pm
People like that annoy me. It's like the world revolves around them and no one else matters. I work with someone who absolutely must have her way on everything, even if it is inconvenient for others. She regularly bursts into the staff lunchroom with dramatic announcements, interrupting everyone's conversations. She has no concept of others. Maybe your niece will eventually set your brother straight. I'm sure she said thank you, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 2:40pm

I sympathize with you.. I have a brother who has two girls.. They are my nieces of course and they live in NJ..Well? they come and visit us and we hang out or go out and yet my brother hasnt seen them in years. He chooses to not be a dad.. They are not kids but still we all love them to pieces and we are all close but yet their dad is a jerk about it all. 

My brother allegedly has money but  never paid a dime for his girls.

I am even friends with my ex sister in law because I like her better than my brother.

Big Hug

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 3:40pm

Yes, she was very sweet about it.  She usually is, it's her sister I worry about  . . . they haven't been taught any social ettiquette or manners.  I have to remind myself of that and we weren't raised that way.  How their dad turned out the way he did is beyond me.  I often wonder how he survives in the world.  It's as if he has no clue. 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 3:44pm
That is so sad to hear. So good of you to forge a relationship with the ex and remain in such close contact with them. I'm sure they treasure you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 12:02am
I agree. I think your nieces realize the wonderful things you do for them. Have you ever had a talk with him about how he makes you feel. He could have no idea how bad he's made you feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 8:35am

Hey,

Not to hijack your post, but I have a very selfish brother also.  We had a falling out last year and he didn't call on my birthday or anything (I contact him on his, which is a month later).  No calls since then and then a few weeks ago I got a text from him at 7 a.m. basically demanding I do him a favour.  Granted, it was regarding something important, but I didn't get so much as a thank you text afterward.

I'm sorry that your brother would disregard your kindness - at the end of the day, you know you've been a good aunt and a good person.  The hard lesson I've learned is that some people are natural "takers" and yes, unfortunately, they can be in your immediate family.

Good luck with things and keep us updated. :smileyhappy:

Mel

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 10:13am

I would never even attempt talking to him about it.  It's unfortunate but our family doesn't communicate well.  We love each other and we're there for each other when needed but we don't talk about feelings or issues, etc.  Plus, trust me, it wouldn't be worth my time.  Honestly, as long as we can stand to be in the same room together for a family meal or something, I'm good.  There've been times when I haven't wanted to be near him and I'm sure the feeling was mutual. 

You know how families are . . . it's complicated.  No family is perfect, and I realize that . . .

He's good to his girls and they seem to have good relationships.  That's what's most important. 

 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 10:34am

Thanks. I should be used to it by now! I'm sorry you have to deal with the mememe-itis, too. From reading my post, yours and Free's it seems to be an epidemic! It's good to know that we're not as abnormal as I sometimes feel ;]