OT: Taming The Tongue

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
OT: Taming The Tongue
13
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 7:13pm

I called my nieces spoiled earlier today.  To their faces.  They made a remark about being embarrassed to ride in their grandfather's 90's era Lexus which doesn't have one dent in it and has a brand new coat of paint.  It's not loud, it runs fine.  I don't get it.  I apologized almost immediately for using the word spoiled and left it at that . . . I guess entitled was the proper word to have used, but they wouldn't have known what it meant.  I'm feeling like crap, even though I apologized but more than that, I don't understand why I can't keep my thoughts to myself.  Other people do it successfully, why can't I?  This is a real struggle for me.  Does anyone else struggle with such?  It makes me feel like weak sauce!  I hate it!  UGH.  

 P.S.  I miss spell check!

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Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 6:32am

cfk_3 wrote:
In truth, they've been through a lot. They are spoiled in some ways, but in other ways they've actually been neglected. Spoiled just wasn't the word to have used. That's why I apologized. I was also disappointed in myself that I was engaging in this unhealthy exchange of words with a 16 year old. I'm the adult, and should be able to remain in control of a conversation instead of allowing it to escalate.

you're right--spoiled wasn't the right word. Ungrateful was the correct word to use going by what you posted.  Them being through a lot is really non sequitur when it comes to disrespecting someone who doesn't have to bother himself with being their chauffeur.   Plenty of kids who've had it worse than them still have manners.

In the long run, they're going to respect someone who tells them the truth about their behavior and stands by it rather that someone who waffles when right is on their side.  A less than ideal upbringing is no excuse to be disrespectful towards anyone.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 10:44am
You are absolutely right; ungrateful would have been the perfect word. In the long run, they may respect whomever for being brutally honest with them, but right now, it only causes bitterness and resentment. You're also right about the disrespect, there is no excuse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2011
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 8:45am

I've leaned my lesson. I bite my lip and think how lucky my daughter turned out well....

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