OT: Taming The Tongue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
OT: Taming The Tongue
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 7:13pm

I called my nieces spoiled earlier today.  To their faces.  They made a remark about being embarrassed to ride in their grandfather's 90's era Lexus which doesn't have one dent in it and has a brand new coat of paint.  It's not loud, it runs fine.  I don't get it.  I apologized almost immediately for using the word spoiled and left it at that . . . I guess entitled was the proper word to have used, but they wouldn't have known what it meant.  I'm feeling like crap, even though I apologized but more than that, I don't understand why I can't keep my thoughts to myself.  Other people do it successfully, why can't I?  This is a real struggle for me.  Does anyone else struggle with such?  It makes me feel like weak sauce!  I hate it!  UGH.  

 P.S.  I miss spell check!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 8:29pm

Maybe you shouldn't have called them spoiled, but I think it was good that you brought it up--so what if grandpa has an older car?  There are worse things.  And what it he had an old car that wasn't a Lexus and didn't look so good?  Shouldn't they just "endure" the embarrassment because they have a grandpa?  It would have brought about a good discussion about materialism and what is important in life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 7:43pm
I don't think you should beat yourself up over this one. Instead of your nieces being grateful they have a grandparent willing to shuttle them around in a vehicle that is not only safe and well maintained, but of a luxury brand they sat there nitpicking about the age of the vehicle. Plenty of other kids their age don't have a relative willing to shuttle them anywhere and instead walk for miles in harsh weather, take the bus/subway/train, or ride a bicycle to get where they need to be. Their failure to recognize their good fortune and choosing to complain that they don't have something newer is spoiled or entitled behavior and they won't learn that unless they are called on it. And you could have further enhanced this lesson by using the word entitled and then making them look up the definition.
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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 7:30pm

Honestly, there are worse things you could have called them.  A lot of kids are spoiled these days, or entitled, or whatever you want to call it.  We focus so much on trying to keep them happy that we forget that unhappiness is a part of life. 

To be honest, I've told students they are spoiled before.  Not in a mean way, more joking...yet not.  They'll start talking about how they are getting an ipad and phone and the newest game system for Christmas, and I just can't help but say, "Geez, you guys are spoiled these days!  I asked for Barbies at your age!" 

I have the most trouble keeping my mouth shut with coworkers.  Sometimes I do okay, sometimes not.  It really depends on my mood.