OT: When is it worth it to move.........??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
OT: When is it worth it to move.........??
8
Mon, 09-16-2013 - 6:16pm

Hi,

I hope this message finds everyone well.  Sooo.......as many of you know (and supported me through), I have been unemployed on and off for the past 2-3 years.  I am very dilligent in sending out resumes and trying to find work, but frankly I've accepted so many positions that were questionable (either the company, or the role itself) its taken quite a long time to find something stable.  I started a new job six weeks ago in corporate marketing (my field).......I'm finding it can be tedious and long hours (1/2 hour lunch for some reason in an 8 hour day.......but I shouldn't and I'm not complaining.......just describing the role).....but I feel that it can really be a good long term opportunity.  I really want to develop some stability......obviously work wise, but also financially.

Unfortunately, the job is smack on the west/north of the city, such that it is truly a murderous drive (I almost wasn't hired because of the distance, but I assured them that I am flexible).  The morning drive is approximately an hour and a half (depending on traffic - could be longer) and on the way home, the only way to go is to take a toll route that costs $8/day ($150/month).  I've tried many alternate routes home, which have taken up to 3 hours.

Soo.......although my apartment here is cheap, it makes sense to move to the other side of the city.  The thing is, apartments in that area are much more expensive - I would be looking at at least $200 more in rent, plus the stress of moving (and, as many of you will point out, I haven't yet been at the job for three months).  The only thing is, the girl before me in the role was fired after 11 years - I have access to her email and she was reprimanded for being "over five minutes late" on several occasions.

Obviously, the Canadian winter is coming......not good for commuting......and I don't want to "lose" the job because I can't get there (yes, I believe the company is that strict).  I also have to give two months notice here, so moving before Christmas means giving notice at the end of the month.  I *almost* gave notice last month and was looking at another apartment, but it went sideways (the apt) and I decided not to.

Here's the hard part.......in spite of the building situation (which has calmed down - I've only seen "Mr. Ex" and his family a few times, although its unpleasant)......I really feel at home here.  I've moved around many parts of the city and I like that it's a dog neighbourhood, beautiful physical scenery, affordable living (shops, rent, etc.)......I have lived in neighbourhoods where people completely *abhorred* my dog and would get upset if she pooed on their lawn (although I always pick up after her).  The big thing too is that if I happen to lose the job, I know I can afford to stay here...........

There are many pros and cons......lately I feel like I am in a bit of a prison - commuting - not able to do much socially/spending the free time I do have running errands/doing laundry, etc.......when I wake up every morning I just feel like I'm losing my ability to face the murderous drive...........if the employer were more understanding, I think I would feel a bit more comfortable, but I'm dreading that day when there may be a *huge* accident and I will be at least an hour late.......

Hmm........I guess I don't have the luxury of choosing where I *want* to live at this point.......I really do want that stability, but when I did live on that side of the city I felt quite lonely and isolated......I'm concerned that there will be a lack of social interaction at work and then loneliness at home.  There have been a couple of remote job opportunities that would allow me to stay here and I find myself considering them.......it's a longshot though.......

I know this was long......... :)  I appreciate some objectiveness/thoughts.......

Mel

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 09-16-2013 - 6:38pm

Hello M, your post came up as a highlighted thread!

I kind of think you answered your own question: stay where you are at and keep looking for another job.  I didn't hear any advatage to moving except for an easier commute to a job you that you seem unsure of. 

Now, if I misunderstood, then by all means do the math and plan accordingly to make the move.  Personally, I don't know that I would have taken a job with that kind of commute.  So I guess that is where I fall back on stay and find another job.  :) 

Let me ask you this: is there another option?  Is moving the only answer?  Do you have a friend on that side of town you could stay with during the week for a trial run?  Or long enough to decide if you even want to keep the job?  Is there a hotel type place that you can rent by the week?  Would the savings in gas and toll cover a chunk of that cost? 

When you are the only income producing person in your home, you really have to seriously look at all possible options before making a move.  As I am sure you are well aware of already.  :)

Good luck and I am curious what others have to say. 

Serenity CL making a second marriage work

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Mon, 09-16-2013 - 7:24pm

Hi,

Thanks for your input - I agree with your comments.  Basically, I interviewed for the job and when they called me back for a second interview I turned it down.  They came back to me and said I was the "best candidate" so I said I wanted X to work there money wise.  They came through and I knew it may be a matter of moving (I am just renting, month to month).

I do have friends on the other side of the city, but not where I could crash anytime long term (different lifestyles - married people, etc.) plus there's my dog.  If I can't get home, I have to make accommodations for her.......which is iffy.  I have thought about the hotel stay but there's extra outlay for that......

If they were the kind of employer who would let me work from home the odd day, it could work.  They are strict, but this is the best job I've found in the last three years.  I have thought through all the options and it has to be one or the other......I'm finding now that I am so burnt out from the commute that it affects my concentration when I *am* there......

Hmm.......as I say, many pros and cons.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Mon, 09-16-2013 - 9:26pm

Given that you've had a hard time finding a job where you can really build the kind of experience you want, I'd say move.  You will recoup the additional rent in commuting cost, and you won't be as tired.  In the interim, if a large storm is predicted, then I'd keep an extra change of clothes in the car, and use those nights to stay at a hotel, or with a friend, and line up a person in your building to walk/feed your dog in such an event.  I know you moved recently, but I would really suggest moving again.  

Also, I am not sure what working hours are like in Canada, but in the US, an 8 hour day with a 1/2 hour lunch is normal, and actually most professional jobs require 9-10 hour days regularly.  I would look around at how many hours your peers and direct manager are working, and make sure you're at least matching that if you're looking to get ahead there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 09-17-2013 - 8:58am

Are you tryng to talk yourself out of moving because sub-consciously your are still not 100% over the creepy guy and his family? 

What you save on transportation and time probably more than makes up for the difference in rent.  You also need to put your job and well-being ahead of your dog.  Perhaps the new neighborhood may not be as dog-friendly, but how well will your dog be taken care of if you were to beome unemployed again?  Vet bills are not exactly cheap.

Agree with the PP, at least in the US, 8-hour day with 30 minute lunch is an easy schedule.  Also, if people don't like your dog going on their lawn, it is entirely their prerogative, whether you pick up after or not.  After all, it is their lawn.

What I am afraid of is you are listing all the pros of staying when in reality if you were to lose your job, you will have to move anyway.  Yes, we all like to be in a neighborhood that we could feel comfortable in, but sometimes in certain stages of life, we do not have the luxury to be picky.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 09-17-2013 - 12:08pm

I'd say to wait another few months to make sure the job is really going to work out and then plan on moving.  You've only been there 3 months--that's not enough to really know if you're going to be there long term.  I do agree that commuting long distance can be a pain--I only live about 15 miles from work but with the rush hour traffic it could take me an hour to get there or home--if there is no traffic, it would only take 1/2 hour.  But since the rents are cheaper where you live, until you have the job stability it's probably better not to move right away.  I agree with the idea to keep a change of clothes in the car just in case for the winter.  Maybe you could be friendly enough w/ a coworker by then that they would let you stay in an emergency.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2011
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 1:27am

I started a new job about a month ago. I am doing 9 hr days with a 30 min lunch break. On top of that, zero internet at work..every major site including email is blocked. If you hit one of those blocked sites accidentally, not only does it block you, you also get a message saying you were blocked and logged - meaning they took note of the fact that you tried to access a forbidden site.

Commute is an hr going, 40 min coming.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 2:55pm

Read the rest of the thread, and I think you are going to have to really dig deep and decide what it is important to you in the scheme of things.  I realize in some ways it seems easy.  You are single, so move. 

You have the importance of your pet, and the sense of feeling safe and comfortable in your neighborhood.  You also have the reality of an hour plus commute in the winter.  Does not sound fun to me.  My hotel or friend idea would work temporarily, if you didn't have the dog. 

So, I kind of feel like you have kind of already made your bed by taking the job.  Not changing my first suggestions, but seems they won't work well for you.  Could you at least give yourself one day off a week and stay over either at the friends or a hotel?  One short drive home and short drive in one day a week might buy you some time while you decide. 

I guess you have the pain of having to give a 2 month notice and finding another place, huh?

Enough out of me.  I feel for you, as I am sure you are grateful to have this job in the first place. 

Keep us posted.

Serenity

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 3:28pm

My best friend just got a new job that happens to be right near where I live--it's over an hour commute for her.  I told her in the winter she could always stay at my house if it snows (although I don't work near where I live) but she also planned on staying one night a week at her SIL's house.  of course she is an executive so it's not like she has to punch a clock.  they would allow her to work from home in bad weather, I'm sure.