other perspective

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
other perspective
14
Thu, 11-29-2012 - 8:35am

Just start some communication on an OLD site that is about to end but wanted to get some ideas on it from a woman's perspective.

BLUF: Been on an OLD site for a little while but recently made conact with a lady whose profile had caught my attention a few times. Anyway she responded almost immediately ( prob has mobile app for the site) and we exchanged almost 10msgs in a space of 2 days.  What bothered me, and has caused me to lose interest, is the fact that she has not asked a single question of me. All the messages have been responses to my general interest questions and thats it. The responses were generally friendly but closed. Now i have always understood that as polite disinterest. I do it myself in real life. If i am involved in a coversation with someone that is in essence a passer by, we can talk but i naturally don't really ask any questions because i have no interest in knowing this person beyond the current small talk. So i get the same vibe from these responses. But the fact that they are always very quick, usually within minutes, throws some small doubt into that.

Now i know 2 days & 5 replies is a really short time, but i have always been very keen on the connection or lack thereof. The only reason i made contact, was because there was something abt her profile that spoke to me and now even as i was ready to ask her out this weekend, i just feel that connection is going... i get the feeling she is either politely disinterested, or a little self centered. (by connection i mean that thing that draws you to or away from people... not talking about any serious stuff in case anybody reads it that way)

In most normal situations, i would stick to my routine, and just stop talking to a person i have no connection to, but having been on this board for a while and see the pain us guys cause by just dropping off the communication, i figured i would get a 2nd opinion.

Be honest but please be Gentle :-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2012
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 8:01pm

With only skimming through the replies and with what you wrote I would say that she didn't lose interest and may be playing the dating game.Go ahead and ask her out and keep in contact with her, she may have met someone else and you may have a bit of competition.

If you like her that much give it another shot!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 10:45pm

Thanks guys for the ideas. I did ask her out and got no response. that answered my question loud & clear. still developing that tough OLD skin mentioned earlier, so the actual rejection stung just a little bit but we live & learn...on to the next one :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 1:19pm
I'm sorry it didn't work out Spartan. OLD is hard for everyone, but I think you did the right thing by being proactive and trying to move things forward. She wasn't right for you and now you can focus on someone who is. Soooo.....any other ladies spark your interest on the site?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Sat, 12-08-2012 - 9:28pm
Thanks. Kinda stepped back from the site a little. But i'll get back to it again sometime

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