Our chaotic world

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Our chaotic world
46
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 12:00am
I remember as a child we would be able to leave our front doors unlocked and feel safe. We could walk around the corner to our friends house without our parents worrying if we would get there ok. No more. Today, a 19 year old boy walked into the mall next to where i work and opened fire killing 9 people and wounding others. This makes me sick. Everywhere outside the mall , including my work, was on lockdown. You see these things happen on the news and think how lucky that its not your town. But today it was my town.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 5:44pm
Reading more about the shooter just proves what everyone here has suspected...he was unable to live with his family because of "issues with his stepmother," so he was in foster care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 5:59pm

This and I've been following the Myspace suicide case where the mother made up a fake page so she could find out what a 13-year-old girl was "saying about her daughter."


I don't get it. These are people who are around my age (well - close enough). And I don't know where all this permissive parenting and bs ever came from. This is certainly not the way *I* was raised and these certainly aren't the values *I* was taught. (And BTW - my family was just as liberal and Democrat as anyone else.)


I just don't get it? Where does this

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 6:46pm

You know, I have thought and can't come up with one "movement" that really started the whole "self-esteem" thing in schools.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 8:55pm

I identify with a lot of what you said. I am a teacher of 4th/5th graders in a building of K-8 students. Lack of effective parenting is pervasive.


We work our butts off in difficult conditions to help these kids in every way we can, but it's so darn frustrating that in the end they go HOME to some truly sad conditions. We have kids who are depressed, angry, inattentive, disrespectful, irresponsible, overexposed...I could go on and on. But it's not the kids FAULT. I love them all and I will do what is needed for each child to the best of my ability but I just wish they (as a whole) would come to school with a positive set of values and some structure. I have MANY times wished I could take these kids home, wished I could see them develop to their fullest potential, yet knowing that they were most likely headed down a different path.


As for teaching values being my job as an educator, I have no problem setting expectations and being consistent about enforcing those, but it's a full time job (mind you I'm supposed to fit in math, reading, writing, science, social studies, spelling, and now character education too). And I want to jump out of my skin when a parent ignores messages sent home, doesn't seem to take much interest academically, but the moment I call their child on some crappy behavior, I get a phone call and have a fight on my hands bc their child is used to no consequences....gee, I wonder why. Even worse are the ones I never hear from- no shows for p/t conferences, ignore attempts to reach them over concerns about their child's well being, or the ones we do get in touch with but make excuses about why they can't get the child to the psychologist or counselor, or whatever the case may be.


If I could teach character ed all day, I would. I have a background in psychology and social work and man, does that come in handy in teaching. The kids need this so much, yet there is so little time for it. And really, I do feel it is the responsibilty of the family to teach values, responsibility, conflict resolution, etc., but it's not happening, sad to say, in the MAJORITY of homes in our building. When I hear what goes on at home, I shake my head in despair. It's NO wonder the kids are the way they are. The apple definitely doesn't fall far from the tree. I feel so bad for so many of these kids and what they go through at such a young age. And NO ONE is there teaching them what to do with their feelings, how to act in an appropriate manner. They do not have the role models for the majority of their time. I can be the best teacher ever, but it all goes to pot when the kid has to go back home to that mess.


Personally, I don't think it should be my job to teach values, character (atleast not on this scale), but I think it is imperative that I do it anyway, as students who know a bunch of facts but have crap social skills or coping skills

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 11:15pm

You're right (and I'm not going to get into a debate! :) ), but for me it's either choosing being fiscally moderate or socially liberal and the latter's more important to me. Plus, I like Ron Paul for much of what he stands for and that he's not afraid to break from the pack, but his quote something to the tune of, if you want to stay up worrying about something (this said to a woman who said she was worried about climate change), worry about the value of the dollar. I'm not all doomsday, but BIG turn-off for me.

Anyway, I digress and I'm done. I promise. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 12:28am
Wow. There are women popping up all over this board saying they agree with me ! Now I know women can resist me for only so long before they give in and it's only a matter of time before that happens, but still.. I am glad to see it happening. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 9:33am

You know, I have thought and can't come up with one "movement" that really started the whole "self-esteem" thing in schools.


*********


Would I be completely wrong if I said it was about the same time that idiot Dr. Spock began to gain traction? Not based on anything . just years of "hearing" things that trace back to his "work".

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 9:45am

Well, on the flip side, I doubt all conservatives are truly 100 percent conservative either...or maybe what's come to be the Republican party these days, in the close-minded, Bible-thumping way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 10:30am

worry about the value of the dollar. I'm not all doomsday, but BIG turn-off for me.


**********


I stray from politics on this board . .but hears the thing, isn't that the job? Isn't that what they realistically can do something about? And if they do that well, doesn't that feed a lot of people, put a lot of roofs over peoples heads, create energy independence, etc? It is always interesting when people are turned off when a politician understands his job is to "protect" and "manage" the "business" of our country. ((-: We are talking about parents . . I am rather Libertarian in my views, and parenting is not a skill I expect a president to attempt with me, thank you very much. LoL


The other very brief comment

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 10:35am

Maybe, maybe not.

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