Our Heart; Vulnerability and Singledom

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Our Heart; Vulnerability and Singledom
16
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 11:28am

Hey Guys;

Today I was thinking that for us who want relationships do you think that our hearts are open enough for it and that we are vulnerable enough for someone to come in?
I know that I am a pretty independent woman and at times dont want to give up which I think is my heart and my vulnerable side.

Do you think that no matter who comes into our life whether it be OLD or IRL or guy friends or whatever it kind of propels us into letting our guard down and makes us softer..and ready for the real thing? These are just tests to get us to the place we need to go in a good solid relationship?? like when Florida

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 3:22pm
Marina, I do that too - smiling at everyone, that is! It´s a good feeling, and sometimes people smile back and that makes it even better. :-)

I´d love to accidentally meet "my guy" in the grocery store, start talking and go on from there! Much better than meeting him in a disco or something, IMHO. Come to think of it, I did in fact see a very handsome man there a few months ago. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 9:56pm

I'll be like that too--sometimes I want to get out of the office, so I'll go out to lunch alone and bring the newspaper and not really look up and not notice anyone around me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 7:58pm

Hi Ruby,

It DOES seem as if people send out unconscious signals to other people, but there are overt ones, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 9:14am

I'm stealing that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 7:20pm

I love the writing our own rules concept. There really isn;t a right or wrong way to meet people, or be in a relationship.

I don't know who wrote this quote: if a stupid idea works, it isn't stupid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 1:56pm

I love the writing our own rules concept. There really isn;t a right or wrong way to meet people, or be in a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 1:03pm

After years and years, I finally got hit over the head with the cluebat and figured out what I was doing wrong: I was thinking with my head when I should have been thinking with my heart. I was constantly being made to feel that everyone else was operating according to some book of unwritten rules... and of course I was always breaking every rule in that book. Dating is one aspect of life in which thinking outside the box is NOT appreciated by others.

But nowadays I'm seeing a paradigm shift... more and more singles are getting frustrated and starting to date with their heads instead of their hearts. They don't necessarily like it, but nowadays doing a date like it's a job interview is no longer the stupid idea that it was only a couple of years ago.

I think a lot of us played the old games because the rules were being made by pick-up artists and to hell with everyone else. Now we see that the emperor has no clothes and we're writing our own rules.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 8:55am
I have wondered about that too. Especially as younger, my girl friends were always hit on while being out, whereas I was not. Except by men twice my age who were not at all interesting, what did they think!? However, it made me wonder if I was sending out signals that I was not interested, or what? I am a really independent woman and have always been, although wanting a boyfriend. I am not going to lose that independence and I am also not sure if I can let go of getting my daily solitude.... I am enjoying my own company and would probably go mad if I could not be alone at least an hour every day. Of course, sometimes one has to show vulnerability to actually get close to another person. I am an emotional person in many ways, but I might be difficult to get close to when it comes to wanting to be more than a friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 2:23am

Great questions, Free. Kinda reminds me of that quote about "dance like nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt..."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 8:53pm

oh; yes very tricky.

I think for me since I am a bleeding heart I tend to open it for the wrong people.. I am going to be very aware of this from now on and only open heart when truly someone appears worthy of my love..if it ever happens (lol)

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