People With Baggage Finding Love

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
People With Baggage Finding Love
6
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 1:47pm

I am starting this discussion because I want to know how many people out there know men/women who have baggage and are still finding love. I am asking because I know a lot of people who have trust issues, etc.... I also know women who have a history of always picking the jerks to date and keep making the samw mistakes, but end up finding the love of their life to men that are honestly great guys. These are just a couple of examples. I want to make a point here first before I state my issue. I love being single. I would much rather be alone, then date somebody who is not right for me. However, why are the people with baggage finding the love of their lives??? Meaning, they're getting married because they have found that right one. I have my act together and have a great life. So why is it taking me much longer??? Anyone in the same boat as myself?? I am interested to see if this is common.

Calie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 2:33pm
I don't think that I notice any greater percentage of coupling amongst people with baggage or issues. That being said, people who don't have good self-knowledge are more likely to fall in love with someone who is wrong for them than those that do. Among my friends and acquaintances, I do think that a number of those of us who are unmarried are that way because we have a better idea of what kind of person would make a good mate and won't overlook issues that some with less self-knowledge might.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 11:40pm

In other words, sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 11:43pm

What exactly would you call baggage?


I've always thought of baggage as being something that always goes with you no matter what- like children or a felony conviction or a controlling mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 12:15am
To me baggage is anything that affects your life and decisions regardless if you have control over them. My example is...."I've had a woman cheat on me and we were dating for three years. Now I find it very difficult to trust another woman." They may or may not have this level of fear at a concious level. And they might do things to sabotage relationships. So why do these people seem to find their SO faster. It's just observation I've had. Sometimes it makes me wonder why they end of finding these great relationships. The previous post said they're more willing to settle and that is very possible. Are they? Are those who have no baggage(mental)and have thier life in order, tend to hold the opposite sex at higher standards?? I know I do, but when it picky too picky???
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 8:58am
Yes, sometimes ignorance is bliss and knowledge is a burden. But, in the long run, I will be less likely to go through a messy divorce. It's already happened to people that I have known since college.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 11:09am

I agree.