Personality- YES! Looks- Uhhh???
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| Tue, 10-16-2007 - 3:27pm |
Question for everyone: Have you ever met someone that in the departments of personality, intellect, drive, goals and emotional availability was everything you were looking for but in the physical appearance dept. was just so-so? Or you weren't exactly turned on by them physically but not exactly repulsed?
Yep, you guessed it, that is where I am. This guy I've been seeing for all of 2 weeks is everything I've been looking for and seems crazy about me but I'm not sure if I'm really physically attracted to him. He's kinda cute at time, but others, I'm unsure. But I am, however attracted to the kind of warm-hearted, giving person he is and willing to give this a good try. It's just that he's picking up on it a bit and getting concerned. I explained why I was attracted to him and that I just need more time to warm up to him physically but I'm not sure how much time I'll need or that he'll give. He's a bit gung-ho and has really put all his eggs in my basket. But I think he's worth trying

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No, don't feel bad. I totally get what you're saying and that's why I'm so concerned. I'm not sure if the physical will grow on me. Meanwhilem eh's super affectionate, which I love but I'm having trouble reciprocating, which he's beginning to notice.
I also know with my ex, I wasn't at all attracted to him initially and though it came with time, I struggled with it for years. But I'm going to give it my best effort. But I don't know how much time he'll give me. He's really been restraining himself with me.
Uhh, did I read that correctly, it's only been 2 weeks and he's crazy about you already? Huge red flag!
Be very aware of men that come on too strong too soon. Again Huge Red flag!
Edited 10/17/2007 12:26 pm ET by lolitalovely
Ha! A few of my friends are saying the same thing. After one date, he took down his Match profile, cancelled dates and told everyone he'd met someone. The next day I mentioned a concert coming to town and he bought 2 tickets and asked what I was doing that night and on our 2nd date, he surprised me by buying the CD of the artist since I didn't have it. He's also told me that he thinks we are potential "kindred spirits" and that I may be his "dream becoming a reality". So yeah, I was very flattered at first, but now getting wary.
But keeping my eyes open.
>>That type of behavior alone would be enough for me to break it off.<<
Having been burned by this stuff in the past, I have to agree. Big red flag.
cl214 ---Combined with your lukewarm (or cold?) physical
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Yes. I definitely will. We have a Halloween party coming up this weekend and I'll just see how it goes. Luckily, some other options have just popped up and I have 2 more dates with new guys coming up next week.
Update!
Well, I'm pleased to report another great date this weekend. We ended up talking til the wee hours of the night and again, his warm heart and gentle personality won me over again. I made the first move to kiss him this time but this time, it felt wonderful! We ended up making out like two teenagers, then he just held me tightly in his arms. It felt so good. I went to bed that nightly swooning again, like on a our date but also finding him very sexy.
Yay! I'm still smiling. And we've got another date for Weds.
Oh my gosh I just spat water all over my monitor.
Smile,
Deirdre
OK, just one last update.
It's official:
we're exclusive and after a 3 and a half year break, I have a boyfriend again!
And he as so excited. He was the one that brought it up but basically told me he has been smitten with me since day one, he has no interest in seeing anyone else and really wants to build something with me. I feel the same. Yeah, the physical attraction tripped me up a bit bit it did come and he gets cuter and cuter everytime I see him. He is wonderful. And I met him on Match.com.
Just wanted to update everyone since I've been such a sad case for so long. I actually considered trying Match again after Shywon (and a friend got back on) but I didn't think it could work for me. I'll spare you the it can happen for you speech and just say I'm grateful and I hope I don't screw anything up.
But I'll still be around and checking in with people. Thanks for all the hopeful advice I've gotten. I do appreciate it.
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