Pessimist
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Pessimist
| Mon, 07-23-2007 - 2:03pm |
I had no idea that i am such a pessimist. On Saturday I stumbled upon a book called "Law of Attraction". The premise is that if we focus on positive things, we attract positive things, and vice versa. Well, I often see two sides in every thing; unadulterated bliss is hard to come by. When I told this to my cowoerk, she looked at me like, "Why are you like that?"

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>Rather, I am like always "fighting", thinking "Don't tell me this is all life has to offer me." Does any one understand what I am talking about?<
Absolutely.
I hate to quote a movie because it's so cheesy (although I do like the movie) but when Jack Nicholson says, "Maybe this is as good as it gets," I do so feel the same way.
The attitude of "don't tell me this is all life has to offer me" isn't negative at all, rather it seems to be a challenge to do what is going to make you happier because you realize the way things are isn't it. Some people just find a million and one reasons NOT to do something to better themselves or try to make things better, fear and insecurity, also just laziness in a sense. It is easier to complain than to get up and do something in order to change. My ex that I wrote about is like that. There is always a reason not to do something if you really want to find it.
I cannot date anyone with a pessimistic attitude about relationships because always have one foot out the door emotionally speaking. They don't get close to you because they don't want to get hurt so they are basically planning for their exit before you even really begin. With that said, I am cautious, I have been around enough to know that you can't go into something blindly optimistic, but if I really feel I am getting to know someone I am not alwys waiting for the other shoe to drop, I would rather focus on enjoying the moment because that is really all you ever have.
Spoken like a true pessimist. Optimism does come naturally to me and I see nothing wrong with it. I'm not blindly optimistic, but I don't see the use in the mentality that everything is irreparably broken. I also hate when people say how dire the state of the world is. Yeah, it's not great, but EVERY generation has its problems and the world will NEVER be perfect. It's just not meant to be. The problem that scares me the most is climate change (which people seem to ignore because its effects are slow and steady and not immediate), but other than that...what are the "good old days"? 50 years ago, the days of oppression? Racial and gender prejudices undeniably exist, still, but are progressively better, no? It seems to me the middle-aged white men in power are the only ones that miss those "good old days." Go back even further in history and find infinitely more incurable illnesses, torture, horrible dictatorships (which still exist, but under more scrutiny and pressure)...just my two cents, I guess.
Anyway, I'll get off my soap box. My point (which got lost for a bit) is that people are born with either optimistic or pessimistic tendencies, it's in their nature. Of course then there's the question of nature vs. nurture, so tendencies can change, but...I certainly think I was born the way I am.
>>I have a girlfriend who is blindly optimistic. I have learned to just keep my big trap shut. I hate to say it, but I just play along now. "Oh yeah, you slept with him within the first ten hours of meeting him and he got your number!? That's fantastic! I'm sure he'll call!"
There's a difference between optimism and stupidity. :) I have an optimistic outlook, but more like someone else said, that I will find someone eventually that'll make me happy and that I'll truly love and care about and vice versa. Not that I can do any stupid thing I want and he'll still call. :) I guess my brand of optimism is realism tinged with a more positive outlook....something like that. :)
" people are born with either optimistic or pessimistic tendencies, it's in their nature. Of course then there's the question of nature vs. nurture, so tendencies can change, but...I certainly think I was born the way I am."
I do agree with this statement to some extent but I also think a lot of it has to do with how we are raised by our parents. When we are very young, we are very susceptible to picking up behaviors from them. I definately picked up a lot of negativity from my mom and Dad combined. My Dad has been a pessimist most of his life, but he's getting slightly better and becoming more of a realist. My mom was depressed most of the time and therefore pretty negative. It's hard when you are raised in this environment to remold your thought patterns. I've been trying to surround myself with more positive people and have been retraining my brain for a couple of years now to think more in "the glass is half full" mentality. I think the more you really work at it the easier it gets to think that way automatically, but it's not easy.
I don't get it. She does that sort of thing over and over. To me, it's like the laboratory rat who keeps going back to that cheese, even though he's been shocked a dozen times. She wants love. She's not being promiscuous for the heck of it or for the physical rewards. I know she isn't stupid, so I chalk it up to blind optimism. When she calls me the next day and tells me these stories, I honestly believe that she thinks she has a new beau on her hands. I just play along now. I've decided that it isn't my job to re-program her and that's probably not what she wants anyway. I know it isn't b/c she has never taken any of my advice!
(By the way, I think you have a fan)
Edited 7/24/2007 5:09 pm ET by cfk_3
This is RICH. This is rich !........... Well said cml17721.
>> Optimism does come naturally to me and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well you are not the majority. You are happy and cheerful and optimistic, not to mention pretty as a picture that hangs on a wall. Any man will be lucky to have you.
>> I'm not blindly optimistic, but I don't see the use in the mentality that everything is irreparably broken.
Bravo. Have you heard some of our politicians lately? Well politicians are in the business of identifying (non existent) 'broken' things and promising to fix them. And the only thing stopping them is your vote, or its lack thereof.
>>I also hate when people say how dire the state of the world is.
Bravo again ! If you keep listening to the (main stream) media and a certain group of politicians, you will feel that apocalypse is round the corner. Remember though , that News is a product just like everything else you buy off a supermarket shelf. It's packaged and presented to you in a manner that will keep you glued to the TV for as long as possible. The purpose of News is not to INFORM you. Its purpose is to get high ratings so they can charge high advertising rates to their sponsors. And as well all know, nothing makes news more watchable than bad news - death, destruction, horror, misery.. The ten good things that happen in the world for every bad, gets filtered out and never makes it to your living room.
>>Yeah, it's not great, but EVERY generation has its problems and the world will NEVER be perfect.
Bravissimo ! We have prosperity today like never before, yet we don't see it because its what's expected. Today's generation (90s and later) have cell phones, ipods, laptops, playstations, dvd players, cheap travel., go back a generation and they still had affordable cars, food, clothing, video games.. and all the necessities in life we take for granted. Now go back a century and a half when this country's foundation was being laid. Do you know how much hardship they had to go through back in the day to make this country into what it is today ? No medical care, no electricity, no automobiles, no tv (?!!?), epidemics, famine, hunger, pollution (yes, the western world was far far more polluted during the industrial rev days than it is today -- regardless of what certain politicians tell you ). And they did all that without complaining and without any sense of entitlement ( "I am entitled to this.. I am entitled to that.. I deserve this.. I deserve that..") People (and again I mean politicians) talk about rampant "poverty". What really is "poverty" ? The goal post keeps moving. Today's "poor" live like Kings compared to people even as recently as the Great Depression. There will always be "poor" people, meaning people who are less well off compared to others. But to put things into perspective look at how well off today's "poor" are compared to those from the past, or even those from other parts of the world today.
>> It's just not meant to be. The problem that scares me the most is climate change (which people seem to ignore because its effects are slow and steady and not immediate),
Ok this is where we part ways a little. Whether the climate is really changing and what's causing it to change are two different things. We only hear of abnormally warm temperatures in the media, which is probably true. The earth's temperature has never remained steady over the years as it rises and falls over time. What does NOT get reported in the media is unseasonably cold temperatures which happens a lot more than unseasonably warm temperatures and question whether an overall warming is actually taking place. And even if we assume that the earth's temperature is climbing..who is to say with conclusive proof that humans are causing it? A "scientific consensus" is not proof, especially when these scientists depend on govt grants for "further research" into the matter. Science has no room for consensus. Science is, or science isn't. Remember the great Ozone hole hoax that was being pulled on us in the nineties ? That one didn't hold water so now scientists and politicians have turned to Global Warming. Anything to get govt grants. And why, I ask, was Global Warming not such a life threatening issue to (rhymes with "Bore") back when he was the Vice President? Why did we not see global concerts for climate change, or books or movies coming out to increase Global Warming awareness? Why has it all of a sudden become a hotbed political issue when an opposing political party is in power and as the next elections are drawing close ?
I don't want to get into the details of opposing views on *MAN-MADE* global warming, there's plenty available on wikipedia and elsewhere if you do a Google search.
>>but other than that...what are the "good old days"? 50 years ago, the days of oppression?
Your words are music to my ears .
>>Racial and gender prejudices undeniably exist, still, but are progressively better, no?
Probably, but only in isolated pockets. Not in the mainstream. Look at today's successful minorities and how far they have come. If racism is so rampant and prevalent if we are to believe the race husslers (Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson), how did the Oprahs, the Tiger Woods, the Michael Jacksons(ok in his case you could argue he had to change his race, but he was quite successful even before), the Colin Powells..the Condy Rices ..and countless others make it ? Yes there was racism 50 years ago, but look at where we are today. Don't forget race is big business for the race husslers.. they HAVE to keep alive the idea that racism is mainstream. They have a vested interest, just as do certain politicians who MUST have the votes of the "racially oppressed".
>>It seems to me the middle-aged white men in power are the only ones that miss those "good old days."
True middle aged white men are in power. But if you don't like, them don't blame THEM. America is still a Democracy (Republic actually). And I think the good ole' days they talk about is when America still used to be a more or less traditional family oriented society with a traditional societal structure (Pre 60s ).
>>Go back even further in history and find infinitely more incurable illnesses, torture, horrible dictatorships (which still exist, but under more scrutiny and pressure)...
Right on. Right on.
>>Anyway, I'll get off my soap box.
No.. please nooo..... We want to hear more...!
I'm going to have to disagree that people are either born optimistic or pessimistic.
Okay, I just stormed through the first 100 pages of Seligman's book. I did the inventory test and found out that I am a pessimist .... In few cases, genetics do play a role in pessimism, but for most of us, it is a learned habit of how we look at things. Hence, parenting, conditionings during adulascense, traumatic experiences count a great deal ....
I already where I learned my pessimism, but I don't give a &^%$ any more about what happened in the past. I want action and result!
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