The Phone Number Game
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The Phone Number Game
| Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:40am |
Hi Everyone,
I'm relatively new to this board and realized I never introduced myself. My name is Dominique and live in the NY Metro area.
So I was wondering if I could ask a question of all the guys on this board (and ladies too, of course). Could you explain to me why guys ask for a girl's number and then don't call? I really just don't get it. Why waste time getting the number, putting it in your phone, getting the spelling of her name right, etc and then not use it? I'm sure there's a few different reasons and I'd love to hear any and all of them. This has been happening to me a lot lately and it's getting annoying.
Thanks.
Dominique

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I find this just as strange as women who give out their number to men they aren't interested in.... and women DO this, don't deny it!
My explanation is some men will ask many women for their number (knowing that getting a number is NOT a definite sign of her interest) then call them in order of his interest. It increases the odds for success.
Yes, women give their number to men they are not interested in because sometimes it's easier than trying to let them down easy (not a nice thing to do, I admit), but I'm not offering my number to these men, they are asking me for it so I thought that denoted some kind of interest in the first place.
So what you're saying is I'm low in the ranking. Ouch, that hurts.
Just kidding. I guess they're jerks anyway and I'm better off not hearing from them.
>So what you're saying is I'm low
>in the ranking. Ouch, that hurts.
But maybe for the wrong reasons. Perhaps you are just too attractive and intelligent!
Ha Ha!
You defintely know how to turn a potentially negative thing into a positive. I like it. That's the reason I'm going with from now on!
Thanks for the pick me up!
Dominique
I'm guessing it's the "in the moment" factor.
I find this conversation very interesting, you make a very good point in saying that he probably isn't interested and if he hasn't called then he is a jerk...but answer me this:
You meet a guy during the summer, see him occasionally at school (university) between september and the beginning of november, befriend him at work...suddenly he asks for your number mid november, he asks to a cup of coffee one day after work in early december, pays a lot of attention to you at work throughout most of december...BUT NEVER GIVES YOU A BLOODY CALL!!!
What gives?
He's not interested enough to put forth the effort to dial, but is interested enough to converse when you happen to be around.
First, I have to say I love your analogies. Funny but totally appropriate. Why would you bake a cake when someone else will bake it for you?
Anyway, I was thinking about your comment regarding laziness and its effect on dating. I have to admit there have been times where a guy is interested in me and I'm not super into him so I get lazy and don't bother trying to get to know him. Thinking about it, maybe we was a great guy and honestly that's my loss if he was a good guy and I didn't bother pursuing it.
But maybe for other people it's not laziness but rather jadedness (is that a word? Probably not). Like, ok, the last three people I hung out with all ended up being self-involved jerks so this one probably will too. I agree it's partly laziness, I think people just expect life to be one big party when certain aspects do take time and effort, but it might be more than that. I'm sure a lot of people have chosen to miss out on opportunities because they were too scared of getting hurt again. I know I'm guilty of that one myself.
Just a general thought, sorry if I rambled.
I am pretty much the same way with guys.
You didnt state when you gave them your number. If this is a first meeting and they ask, it could be that they have a chick and may only want your number for when they get p.oed at their current squeeze.
It would also be my guess that they just want your number to impress upon their male clan of friends who are out to collect numbers to compete with fellow male testosterone games.
If i were you...if they ask on the first meeting/date...refuse to give it. Tell them you want to get to know them a bit more before offering your home to them. if they are genuinely interested in getting to know the real you, they will give you theirs and tell you that you can give them a call when you are ready or they wil tell you to give them a call next week to make a date. This will also let you in on their dating processes.
Oh, but be sure to really ask them a bunch of Dr. phil dating questions before you give out your number and take theirs.
Good luck
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