Would you date someone that you weren't physically attracted to? I know that physical attraction isn't anything, but it's the first thing we notice about a person, so how important is it to you?
I never date anyone I'm not attracted to. It may sound shallow but there has to be some sort of attraction and if I don't feel it, I don't want to waste his time or mine at that. I'm not saying he has to be a pretty boy but I do have to be attracted to him.
All I can say is you never know who your going to fall in love with. I like to be attracted to someone initially, but you just never know. One of the girls I dated years ago, we actually worked together, she asked me to go bowling with some fellow employees, well she asked me to take her and her friend home. I was clueless as to what was happening, but she had me drop the friend off first, and then I got back to her car and she goes what would you do if I kissed you. I was the least bit attracted to her,, I felt so uncomfortable, and I bluntly told her I wasn't interested, I was not attracted to her, but she would not get out of my car. She would not get out of my car, so I kissed her, just so she would leave. So she finally did and after that we just started talking at work, and I don't know what happened but I fell for her. I guess I liked that she was persistent, she didn't back down, and I guess since I didn't have those qualities I really dug that about her. She eneded up lieing to me months later and I ended it, but after about ten years later, I saw her a couple months ago, and I thought she looked absoluteky beatiful. So you never know. But a sweet, caring, cute girl gets me every time, I'm a sucker.
"I know that physical attraction isn't anything,..."
I'm sorry, physical attraction isn't EVERYTHING but it sure is a part of anything. I'm not saying you have to find him the sexiest guy in the world or drop dead gorgeous, but who wants to wake up in the morning, roll over and wanna scream because they think the person laying next to them is hideous? Like the one lady said, someone who you can be in a relationship with but not be attracted to is a friend. We accept that as far as same sex friendships go. Personally I'm heterosexual so I can communicate, have everything in common with and enjoying hanging out with a girl - but because there's no physical attraction there's nothing romantically special about it. Same thing is possible with guys. You can't help who you're mentally and who you're physically attracted to. It's either there or it's not there. Just keep in mind there is a difference between not finding someone attractive and finding someone unattractive. The first leaves room for change where the second one is pretty set in stone. I guess what I'm trying to say is that physical attraction is really important in a romantic relationship because that's part of what makes it special and sets it aside from a friendship. You just can't be superficial to think that that means that anyone under a 7 is unattractive. I actually know a guy who looks like a cross between Mr. Bean and Edward Norton. Now he may not be the cutest thing in the world, but I find him attractive in his own way.
I think attraction is important, no doubt about it. But I am also realistic in that our bodies/attractiveness change over time and that nobody stays the same. You can work really hard to stay attractive but there is no way in defeating the inevitable...we all get saggy, wrinkly, dry, spread out and slow.
"Thing is, though, when it's someone who has already expressed interest in ME, I have a hard time "giving him a chance" because then I feel pressured. And the attraction doesn't end up growing because that pressure to feel it is there."
"It is definitely not ALL about looks, but they DO play a huge role for me. He doesn't have to be drop-dead-gorgeous or have a perfect body, but if I just cannot picture kissing or snuggling with him, I can't even "just give it a chance."
ITA Stacey, that is exactly how I feel...I met someone and he's nice enough, but I just don't feel that attraction to him and we're just doing the friend thing now, which is fine, but I don't want him to think that I'm there for another reason, but then again, he hasn't made a move either, so that's all good :)
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I'm not saying he has to be a pretty boy but I do have to be attracted to him.
For me it depends on to what degree I find him unattractive and what the situation is.
I've gotta be attracted.
"I know that physical attraction isn't anything,..."
I'm sorry, physical attraction isn't EVERYTHING but it sure is a part of anything. I'm not saying you have to find him the sexiest guy in the world or drop dead gorgeous, but who wants to wake up in the morning, roll over and wanna scream because they think the person laying next to them is hideous? Like the one lady said, someone who you can be in a relationship with but not be attracted to is a friend. We accept that as far as same sex friendships go. Personally I'm heterosexual so I can communicate, have everything in common with and enjoying hanging out with a girl - but because there's no physical attraction there's nothing romantically special about it. Same thing is possible with guys. You can't help who you're mentally and who you're physically attracted to. It's either there or it's not there. Just keep in mind there is a difference between not finding someone attractive and finding someone unattractive. The first leaves room for change where the second one is pretty set in stone. I guess what I'm trying to say is that physical attraction is really important in a romantic relationship because that's part of what makes it special and sets it aside from a friendship. You just can't be superficial to think that that means that anyone under a 7 is unattractive. I actually know a guy who looks like a cross between Mr. Bean and Edward Norton. Now he may not be the cutest thing in the world, but I find him attractive in his own way.
"Thing is, though, when it's someone who has already expressed interest in ME, I have a hard time "giving him a chance" because then I feel pressured. And the attraction doesn't end up growing because that pressure to feel it is there."
"It is definitely not ALL about looks, but they DO play a huge role for me. He doesn't have to be drop-dead-gorgeous or have a perfect body, but if I just cannot picture kissing or snuggling with him, I can't even "just give it a chance."
ITA Stacey, that is exactly how I feel...I met someone and he's nice enough, but I just don't feel that attraction to him and we're just doing the friend thing now, which is fine, but I don't want him to think that I'm there for another reason, but then again, he hasn't made a move either, so that's all good :)
"Spread out" took me awhile to get, Ruby!
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