Physical chemistry & attraction

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Physical chemistry & attraction
3
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 8:38pm

I'd like to get your views on this topic...

When you first meet someone, how important is the initial chemistry/physical attraction?

I've been doing online dating, and have met about 8 or so people in person. They all are great online and on the phone, but 8 of those 10 have fallen flat when it comes to meeting in person with the physical attraction factor.

People say that your attraction will grow based on their personality, but I believe that you should feel a bit tingly when you first meet them, or it'll never get better. I don't want bells and whistles, just a feeling of, "Wow, I think he's attractive!"

Your thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2005
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 9:03pm

Anytime I've ever gotten all tingly...I've always ended up in something waaaay over my head. But that's me. I think some degree of attraction is important. That being said, one of my best guy friends is one of those people who have grown more attractive as I've gotten to know him. There was no 'tingly' feeling or anything the first time I met him. But we ended up working together, and have gotten to be great friends over the last two years, and was one of the first people I called to help me through the great breakup with the ex.

I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and not go on first impressions. But this situation of yours is backwards, you already have an idea of what their personality is like. Could it just be that they aren't fitting the idea of that person in your head? I talk with a lot of people from my work through AIM as they are in other locations across the country, and any time any of them come this way for business reasons I'm always surprised that they look different from the 'image' I built for them in my head already. Does that make any sense?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 11:18pm

I like that tingly feeling, but it doesn't last and can happen at just a nice smile from the right guy (even if it's from across the room).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 12:07pm

I agree that the personality needs to make me say "wow," but I also think that the tingly feeling needs to be there eventually.

That said, I would advise not writing someone off after the first date, especially with online dating. When you meet someone in real life, you generally have time for that tingly feeling to emerge before you actually get to the first date.

W/ OLD, you generally decide to meet based on other factors and the physical attraction comes later. I think this makes OLD a bit stilted and uncomfortable, and full of too many expectations. In my experience, because of the initial awkardness on both sides, it takes at least two or three dates to decide if there's a spark and enough reason to move forward.

If you like the guy well enough to endure a conversation for a second date, then he's worth another chance.

AJ, enjoying life with C.