Playing Hard to Get-Does It Really Work?
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| Mon, 06-12-2006 - 8:48pm |
Ok, so a friend has just confided in me that she thinks I am too nice to most guys I date and not "hard to get" enough. She is also good friends with a guy I dated last summer who I guess felt I wasn't enough of a challenge and lost interest in me. She goes by the rule of making the men work to get you and believes that her long-term relationship is proof that it works.
Here's my dilemna:
1) the majority of the guys Ive dated have been pretty passive. I usually have to make the first call to get the date and usually initiate the 2nd date, first kiss etc. in many instances I noticed that when I stopped initiating, I didn't hear back from them and it died off. 8 out of 10, if I don't ask the guys out, I get no dates.
2) I am not a girl that gets pursued much at all. Some say men are intimidated by me. Whatever the excuse may be, it doen't happen often so when it does, I'd rather embrace it than run from it.
3) When I really like a guy, its hard for me to hold back. I want to tell him how I feel, spend time with him, get to know him , be supportive etc. It's just not in my nature to act aloof, disinterested or purposely blow him off or a be a b*tch just to get him to chase me. I hate playing games and like things as simple as possible.
4) they few times I have tried to play hard to get, they guys gave up and I never heard back from them again. It just seems increasingly hard to keep a guys interest longer than a month these days. Anytime I've played hard to get, I ended up sitting home alone waiting for the phone to ring (it didn't)
That being said, I don't jump into bed with just anybody (seriously, I don't even get those kind of advances), I stay busy with personal interests and grad school and though I stay in touch, I don't feel like I smother or am clingy at all in dating.
But people keep telling me I need to play hard to get.
Any thoughts? Have people actually found that this works better or is it just more stupid game playing? And I wanna hear from some men on this too!

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I'm 28 and looking for pretty much what I had: a man that will be absolutely crazy about me, be my best friend and confidant and someone I can share my life with. I just want to give my heart to a man and make him happy and for him to do the same. I want a real, serious, committed, loving relationship with potential to grow and possibly lead to a strong marriage.
That's all.
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