please help out this noob

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2012
please help out this noob
14
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 10:32pm
Hi all, I'm a guy hoping to get some female perspectives :)
There was this really hot professional girl at my workplace (we work in different roles in different depts in a huge company so it might as well be two different companies in the same campus) who was sharing some stares with me.

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 10:37pm
I think the first girl was probably taken as well. You don't necessarily have to outright ask if she's married or has a boyfriend, but you can find out by slipping in references..."what does your boyfriend think about that?" or whatever seems to fit. I wouldn't spend months just flirting, either. If you're interested, ask her out. The worst she can say is no and then it's on to the next!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 11:21pm

Hi! Welcome to the board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2012
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 11:40pm

Thanks guys!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 8:36am

Having been a bartender for many years in my 20s, I agree that friendliness while

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 8:41am

Valleyscrub, you sound like a really good guy.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 11:18am
Keep doing what you're doing...girls love a confident guy. Who knows why the first girl behaved the way she did...perhaps it was immaturity. As far as deciphering flirtation from politeness, I say, ask them out. Then you'll have your answer. You don't have to go all out either, you could just say something like: "I'd like the opportunity to get to know you a little better, here's my number. Give me a call if you'd ever be interested in grabbing a coffee or something..."
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 12:24pm

That's a GREAT idea, cfk!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2012
Thu, 02-16-2012 - 6:19pm

Thanks for the replies, took a while to digest. I'm closer to 30 than 25 :) focused on career exclusively for too long.

When available, were you ladies comfortable with an attempt at contact info or meetup after exchanging names and a few jokes or was that too soon? I know that sometimes draws a reflexive "no" answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Fri, 02-17-2012 - 11:09pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 8:41am

Actually, I'm not sure offering his number would help, seeing how so many women of all ages still believe the man needs to work for them and hunt them down and wouldn't be the first to call a guy even if they were interested and knew with some degree of certainty that the guy was interested too... I find that stupid and really sad, but it's how a lot of people in my generation think and they're almost creating the expectation that women who do call first are "lower grade" than those who wait for the man to make the first step.

As far as the problem at hand is concerned, I too would suggest that you try to get to know these girls better and, in the process, find out if they're available for dating and, who knows, you might even get a hint as to what they expect from a guy. THAT would give you a nice heads-up!

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