please help out this noob

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2012
please help out this noob
14
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 10:32pm
Hi all, I'm a guy hoping to get some female perspectives :)
There was this really hot professional girl at my workplace (we work in different roles in different depts in a huge company so it might as well be two different companies in the same campus) who was sharing some stares with me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 8:46pm

Hola y gracias, Senorita.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 1:50pm

Awww...I like tiny little Mexican men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 11:50am

Well said CFK, and ditto on the welcome, Baby.

A tiny little Mexican man - not more than 5' - handled it perfectly Friday when I was in the store and he was helping me find something. I'm easily 12-15 yrs older than him, and because of the shoes I was wearing, a foot taller.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 9:30am

Hey there, babylosik. Welcome to the board.

I'm going to copy and paste a portion of his post: "so I decided to go for it during my last visit and ask her to have lunch with me during the week. Her reaction? Stunned and then "I have a bf". I haven't seen her since but I hope it doesn't become like the first girl who stiffed up and avoided me. I'm trying to draw some lessons, should I have gotten to know them better and ask if they were available first before asking them out? I don't mind getting rejected but I wish I could have done it so that things won't be awkward afterwards, if that's possible."

If I read correctly, he's asking for advice on how to get the point across without it being too awkward. I think that's a perfect solution, but everyone is different.

I'm a pretty confident woman, and am drawn to very confident men. If a guy gave me his number, expressed interest and that sentiment was mutual, I'd have no qualms about calling him. It's not a marriage proposal. It's an open invitation to grab a friendly drink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 8:41am

Actually, I'm not sure offering his number would help, seeing how so many women of all ages still believe the man needs to work for them and hunt them down and wouldn't be the first to call a guy even if they were interested and knew with some degree of certainty that the guy was interested too... I find that stupid and really sad, but it's how a lot of people in my generation think and they're almost creating the expectation that women who do call first are "lower grade" than those who wait for the man to make the first step.

As far as the problem at hand is concerned, I too would suggest that you try to get to know these girls better and, in the process, find out if they're available for dating and, who knows, you might even get a hint as to what they expect from a guy. THAT would give you a nice heads-up!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Fri, 02-17-2012 - 11:09pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2012
Thu, 02-16-2012 - 6:19pm

Thanks for the replies, took a while to digest. I'm closer to 30 than 25 :) focused on career exclusively for too long.

When available, were you ladies comfortable with an attempt at contact info or meetup after exchanging names and a few jokes or was that too soon? I know that sometimes draws a reflexive "no" answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 12:24pm

That's a GREAT idea, cfk!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 11:18am
Keep doing what you're doing...girls love a confident guy. Who knows why the first girl behaved the way she did...perhaps it was immaturity. As far as deciphering flirtation from politeness, I say, ask them out. Then you'll have your answer. You don't have to go all out either, you could just say something like: "I'd like the opportunity to get to know you a little better, here's my number. Give me a call if you'd ever be interested in grabbing a coffee or something..."
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 8:41am

Valleyscrub, you sound like a really good guy.

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