Please share success story

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Please share success story
18
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:33am

I hope to hear success stories from us regulars here. I should believe right?

or do people stop coming here after they couple up?

 

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Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 8:57pm

I'll take the bait ;)  There was a regular who I haven't seen on here in at least ten years.  She was adamant that she did not want to settle down or get married.  She and myself started emailing every once in a blue moon, off the site.  After posting regularly for a year, maybe two, she stopped and the emails dropped off.  I got curious and looked her up a couple of years ago - the stinker got married :P

It depends on what you consider "success" though, too.  I think we all have success stories.  I think we all lead full, interesting lives :)  I know some would like to meet a special someone but I definitely don't see any of us as failures. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:47pm

cfk,

Maybe I should have said "successful love story". Just b/c someone has a wonderful love doesn't imply the rest are failures. That wasn't what I meant.

For those who are happily single and don't want to be in a r/s with a man that's great. I don't judge them at all.

But for those like me who's always wanted to be in a R/S then this is what I mean. I used to be envious of people who get r/s and I don't especially the dysfunctional women who got wonderful men. I think I'm still envious somewhat but part of me now want to see that it is possible even when it looked like it was never going to happen. I need to hear about miracles and real-life happy ending. It would give me some hope. 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 10:36pm

I'm not that familiar with people who used to be on this board but aren't now.  I used to be a regular on the Single Mothers & Dating board.  That board used to be pretty active but there were a few trolls who got their jollies out of being very nasty, esp. to a couple of people, so the regulars on that board shifted off to a private board.  I'm still on that one & there are about 10 of us who still post.  Now we all use our real names, share pics and have even gone on vacations together.  Anyway there are several women from that group--who were all single when we started out--who have gone on to have serious relationships.  2 got married and there are a couple who are living together & even had kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 1:34am

that's wonderful. If you know their love stories you could share them here.

I remember many years ago, my very strong gf started going out with  a guy she met on match. LD. She in CA he in FL. Things progressed rather uneventfully. They would meet frequently flying back in forthe but the rest of her life remained pretty much unchaged. Still hanging out with me. Then I moved away for med school. We kept in touch. One day told me was was getting married. I was shocked. Not in a bomb dropping on me shock but part of me had a hard time understanding such an independent type is married already.

Well, the marriage has been going south for a while  now but still something that looked unlikely became a reality. Maybe I should open myself to that possibility. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 6:47am

Hi Music,
 
Is there any chance you could let us relative 'old-timers' know how the ladies on the SMAD board are doing these days? My sister and I used to  love that board and post to it sometimes too, despite not being either single or mothers..... It was a great, happening, interesting, alive board....and then everyone left. We are just INCREDIBLY curious what happened to some of those women. Rebecca?? and HC??  Are they still together?? Her ex finally out of her life for good? Her gorgeous little daughter...who's now not so little anymore?? Tiara?? Still happy with her prince charming in,  Atlanta was it?? Any others and their news??
 
You don't have to tell us of course. But we are so so so curious........ Thank you ever so much...
 Rocklady

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 8:58am

I am not sure if mine is a success story.

 I have been with my current man since last December. We are not married yet. I am trying to finish studying by next year and he is going to finish off next year as well. He is 9 years older than me. We met on pof. We live about 15 minutes away from each other. I spend my weekends with him. Sometimes, on weekends  we take his parents to Dim Sim and then to shopping. I still read this board though I don't post very often. I find it hard to login.

 White Satin, I could have written that post about hurting when you found out that  your ex is dating someone new. My advice is to have a clean break. I was really hurt too when I found out that my ex was dating someone new right after me. I then, stopped contacting him. A few months later I met my current bf. We are trying for a baby now. So far no success but I am hopeful.

White Satin, don't give up hope. Just keep trying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 10:32am

"I used to be envious of people who get r/s and I don't especially the dysfunctional women who got wonderful men. I think I'm still envious somewhat but part of me now want to see that it is possible even when it looked like it was never going to happen. I need to hear about miracles and real-life happy ending. It would give me some hope".

I am trying to put it as gently as possible.  Some people are in a relationship because they want to be in a relationship so badly that they throw all "standards" away.  Some people go to great lenghts (get cosmetic surgery, move to a city with higher men-women ratio, etc) to make it "happen".  I am not saying it is right or wrong, after all, we all have the right to live our lifes the way we choose to, but very often when you feel envious of someone, you don't know how much effort they put in.  Kind of like the duck analogy - the ducks look so serene gliding across a pond but you don't see them paddling like crazy below the water surface.

I also agree with other PP that people have different concepts of "success".  I, for one, never wanted traditional family and kids and all that.  For the longest time I was happy having serial relationship from 12 months to over 5 years, one after another.  Got married a second time several years ago, now comtemplating divorce.  Nothing majorly wrong per se, no abuse, cheating, etc., just having some intellectual disconnect. 

For some reasons, I never had too much problem finding dates and I tend to think it is because: 1. In general I am a happy person.  2.  I have many guy friends who give good advice.  3.  I play their game.  Whether you like it or not, most men like sports.  The "masses" have their baseball and basketball, the 1% have their polo and sailboats, and ambitious men are often adrenaline junkies as well.  If you cannot bring yourself to play with them, at least show some interest and be able to watch/talk sports.

There you have it.  No miracles required.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:12pm

MissLynn,

Good enough. I think a longer term R/S in which there are compatibilities and going places is a success.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:29pm

Demontespan, I'm a sports lover--I don't do it because of men.  My favorite sport is football & I'll watch games even when I'm alone.  I'm very knowledgeable about it too.  I remember going on a date with a guy and he said "men love women who love football."  I told him "no they don't."  Well what I mean  by that is that my exH was also a sports fan and he & I used to like watching games together before we had kids so in that way it was a nice common interest that we shared, but men don't go for a woman because she likes sports--they primarily seem to go for looks.  So while it might be an added plus once you get to know someone, it surely hasn't gotten me any dates even on OLD when I wrote to guys who expressed their interest in watching sports and I said that I was a big sports fan also.  

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 8:02pm
When I first came here 13(?) years ago, the cl here was goroque. We were co-cls for awhile, then she left because she got married. We're friends on FB now and I think she has two kids. She still reads here and posts occasionally under another name. Another poster who was here at the same time was thethimble. He was in his late twenties, a virgin, and incredibly shy. He posted a lot about his adventures going out alone to try to get over that. I haven't talked to him in a long time, but the last time I did he'd been dating the same girl for quite some time. It's not really a long term success story, but I've been dating the same guy for three weeks now. We dated this summer and he disappeared which upset me. His life kinda fell apart for awhile. Anyway, this time things seem different- better. He's more open with me about crappy days and such. Maybe he's the beginning of my success story. We all know I've waited long enough.

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